The Moreton Pinkney Picayune

Greg's Occasional News & Views

16 February 2020

Happy Valentine’s Day – I hope your secret admirer conveyed his/her affections.

We’ve had a very busy week with lots going on. On Sunday our dear friends and former neighbours in Byfield, Pete and Sally, came for lunch along with Adam and Ava. Penny made one of her famous fish pies and it was great to catch up. Continue reading

16 February 2020 – Amusements

A young man who had recently moved out on his own called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?

His mother said, “Why don’t you send her a nice note and invite her to your apartment for a home-cooked meal?”

He thought this was a great strategy, and arranged a date for a week later. His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone.

“The evening was a disaster,” he moaned.

“Why, didn’t she come over?” asked his mother.

“Oh, she came over, but she refused to cook.” Continue reading

9 February 2020

Happy Anniversary! Yes, tomorrow will be the first anniversary of the start of our kitchen extension/renovations. The job that they cheerily said at the outset would take “three to four months.” Having not seen anyone since before Christmas this week we’ve been blessed with the company of Dave the carpenter who’s been ticking off, one by one, the extensive list of tasks which remain to be completed. (BTW, Dave is a very decent and efficient carpenter unlike the very, very, very patient carpenter we were stuck with for the last couple of months). Only another three to four months, I should think! Continue reading

9 February 2020 – Amusements

The homework assignment for my Spanish class was to write a paragraph. When I returned their papers, I asked one student if he had used Google Translate or any other online translator to write his paper.

He categorically denied doing so.

That led to my next question, “Then why is this paper in French?” Continue reading

2 February 2020

Happy Groundhog Day!

At last! We have been well and truly Brexited – rather like being filleted, I suspect. Alive. With a dull knife. And no anaesthetic, awake and conscious through the whole exercise while our vitals are ripped out and we are rent asunder. It will be interesting to see how long it is before it all goes tits up and whether the gullible naïve racists who voted to leave realise that they too are being f**ked with all the rest of us. Ironically, those areas which voted most vigorously to leave are exactly the areas which are going to be hardest hit. Continue reading

26 January 2020

Another great week – our first “proper” evening’s entertainment with “real” guests in the new kitchen, a new approach to our “award-winning” sourdough, a trip up to London for an exhibition followed by a minor mishap and some remarkable customer service from an online supplier. Continue reading

26 January 2020 – Amusements

After a long day of shopping, my daughter and I stopped at a grocery store. I ran in to pick up a few things, leaving her in the car. As I approached the checkout I was surprised to see my daughter there waiting for me.

“Honey,” I said, “what are you doing in here? I left the motor running.”

“It’s all right, Mom,” she replied reassuringly. “I locked the doors.” Continue reading

19 January 2020

After the excitement of last week, a relatively straight-forward one and therefore there is little news to relate this week apart from the appearance on page 4 of a national newspaper of someone exceedingly important in the local community. Continue reading

19 January 2020 – Amusements

Rushing to get to the movies, my husband and I told the kids we had to leave “right now” at which point our teenage daughter headed for the bathroom to apply makeup. Her dad yelled for her to get in the car immediately, and headed for the garage grumbling.

On the way to the multiplex my husband glanced in the rear-view mirror and caught our teen applying lipstick and blush, which produced the predictable lecture. “Look at your mom,” he said. “She didn’t put on any makeup just to go sit in a dark movie theatre.”

From the back I heard, “Yeah, but Mom doesn’t need makeup.”

My heart swelling with the compliment, I turned back to thank this sweet, wonderful daughter of mine just as she continued, “Nobody looks at her.” Continue reading

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