Greg's Occasional News & Views
We’ve traded our sweltering temperatures of last week for a week in which we have had buckets of rain interspersed with some sunny spells. The garden needed the rain so that’s all right – the head gardener is very appreciative.
Continue reading “7 June 2026”A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.
“Hey, girls,” says the brunette, “let’s go home early tomorrow. She’ll never know.”
So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss!
Unsure what to do, she quietly sneaks out of the house, drives around until her normal quitting time, and returns home without saying anything.
The next day at work, the gals get together.
“That was fun,” says the brunette. “We should do it again sometime.”
“I met a great guy!” says the redhead.
“No way,” says the blonde. “I almost got caught.”
One day Ole and Sven were paging through the Sears Catalog and admiring all the beautiful models.
Ole said to Sven, “Haf you seen da perdy girls in dis catalog?”
Sven replied, “Ya. Dey sure are bootiful, an yust look at da prices!”
Ole looked wide eyed and said, “Yumpin’ yimminy. Dey ain’t very expensive. At dees prices I’m buyin’ me vun.”
Sven smiled, patted Ole on the back and said, “by golly Ole, if she’s as perdy as she looks in da catalog, I vill get vun too.”
Three weeks later Sven came by and asked Ole, “did ja ever git dat girl you ordered from da Sears Catalog?”
Ole replied, “no, but it von’t be long now, her clothes came yesterday!”
One day while he was at the track betting on the ponies and nearly losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.
Lo and behold, that horse — a very long shot — won the race.
Before the following race, the Priest blessed yet another horse. Mitch made a beeline for the window, and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race.
Mitch collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the priest would bless for the 6th race. The priest showed, blessed a horse, Mitch bet a large amount of money on it, and it won!
True to his pattern, the priest stepped out onto the track before the last race and blessed the forehead, eyes, ears, and hooves of one of the horses.
Mitch bet every cent he had, including his life savings and the deed to his house. Mitch then watched the horse come in dead last. He was dumbfounded.
He made his way to the track, and when he found the priest, he demanded, “What happened, Father? All day long you blessed horses and they won. The last race, you blessed a horse and he lost. Now, thanks to you, I’ve lost all my savings!
The priest nodded wisely and said, “That’s the problem with Protestants — you can’t tell the difference between a simple blessing and the Last Rites!
It has been swelteringly hot this week. Indeed, there was a new record for the hottest day in May ever recorded in the UK! The temperature reached 35o on Tuesday in London (95o F). Our high in Moreton Pinkney was a mere 29o on Tuesday giving way to a balmy 28 o on Wednesday and a positively temperate 27o on Thursday. Scorcio!
Continue reading “31 May 2026”I know we’ve had this or something very similar before:
A married couple, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 35th anniversary.
During their party, a fairy appeared to congratulate them and grant them each one wish.
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand and poof — the wife had tickets in her hand for a world cruise.
Next, the fairy asked the husband what he wanted.
He said, “I wish I had a wife 30 years younger than me.” So the fairy picked up her wand and poof — the husband was 90 years old.
Continue reading “31 May 2026 – Amusements”What a splendid week! We had four days away in the Peak District with good friends – who knew the Peak District was so gorgeous? Probably everyone who’s ever visited. The weather wasn’t brilliant, grey and overcast much of the time with some bright sunny intervals, but at least we weren’t washed away in the deluge the weather folks were predicting. Friday, the day we left to come home, the morning dawned bright and sunny which allegedly we’re going to enjoy for most of the coming week. Scorcio!
Continue reading “24 May 2026”Woman Stops Grizzly Attack with a .25 Calibre Pistol
A story of one woman’s self-control and marksmanship with a little .25 cal. against a fierce predator.
“While out hiking in Alberta, Canada with my husband we were surprised by a huge grizzly bear charging at us from out of nowhere. She must have been protecting her cubs because she was extremely aggressive,” the woman recalled. “If I had not had my little .25 calibre Beretta with me I would not be here today!
“Just one shot to my husband’s knee was all it took. The bear got him and I was able to escape by walking away. It’s one of the best pistols in my collection!”
A tolerable week on the whole, I guess – we’ve had a fair bit of rain interspersed with some bright, sunny spells. It’s been pretty “fresh” though and we’ve even resorted to lighting the wood burner in the evenings a couple of times. In May? Hmm.
Continue reading “17 May 2026”Someone sent these to me sometime ago. If it was you, let me know so that I can give you the appropriate acknowledgment.
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift…
The next year, I didn’t buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
“Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”
And that’s how the fight started…..
Continue reading “17 May 2026 – Amusements”Good morning. I hope the sun is shining wherever you are. We’ve had a decent enough week, a bit of rain and “sunny intervals” as the weather people call it. We’ll take it.
Continue reading “10 May 2026”Mr. Trent always scheduled the weekly staff meeting for four thirty on Friday afternoons.
When one of the employees finally got up the nerve to ask why, he explained. “I will tell you why … I’ve learned that’s the only time of the week when none of you seem to want to argue with me.”
Continue reading “10 May 2026 – Amusements”