A tolerably, tolerable week, I suppose. Progress on the new kitchen continues at a snail’s pace, often one step forward, one step back, we welcomed back our monthly village film night (sadly, another depressing reminder that winter is marching relentlessly towards us again), Adam and Ava have an exciting bit of news to share and Boris the Twat continues to live down to his reputation. Continue reading
The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase “Regards” again. Continue reading
It’s been a mixed week – fresh, autumnal weather with changeable skies and a fair dousing of rain thrown in just for fun. We enjoyed what might be the last barbeque of the season last Sunday, progress on the kitchen has reached an exciting point, we had a great outing with some friends and Boris the Twat extended his parliamentary record to seven votes called, seven votes lost (and much more besides). Continue reading
At the end of my factory shift, I was asked to purchase some supplies. The machines’ conveyor belts needed talcum powder to prevent them from sticking, and we had run out of aspirin for workers with noise-induced tension headaches.
I drove to the nearest store and loaded a shopping cart with four cases of baby powder and several boxes of aspirin. As the man behind me in the checkout line peered at my purchases, he laughed and exclaimed, “Must be one heck of a baby!” Continue reading
What a splendidly glorious couple of weeks. The weather has been very acceptable (indeed, more than acceptable), we had a date night and a grand weekend’s “holiday”, the builders are making exciting progress on the new kitchen and Boris the Twat continues to embarrass and humiliate himself all across the country and across Europe. Continue reading
A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little mole hole. One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says, “Yum! I smell maple syrup!”
The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says “Yum! I smell honey!”
The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can’t because the bigger moles are in the way.
So he says, “Geez, all I can smell is….MOLASSES!” Continue reading
Whew! I told you this would be a fascinating couple of weeks. What’s that I keep saying? You could not make this stuff up! Continue reading
Needing to look up a phone number while at a friend’s house, my teenage daughter asked for a phone book. She might as well have asked for a papyrus scroll.
“A phone book?” asked her friend.
“You know,” said my daughter. “A book with numbers in it.”
“Oh,” said her friend as it dawned on her. “You mean a math book.” Continue reading
Scorcio! We’ve had some great weather this week, the building works have progressed (reasonably) nicely and we had a splendid fun-filled weekend away on the south coast with like-minded friends.
A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewellery store. “Listen,” said the shoplifter, “I know you don’t want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch and we forget about this?”
The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, “This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?” Continue reading