24 October 2021

Well, it’s been a wild and wacky week. Lots of cloud and grey skies at the beginning of the week with gale force winds and torrential downpours (thankfully, mainly at night) but with abnormally high temperatures for the time of year (mid 60s Fahrenheit, 18 Celsius) and lots of humidity. By about Thursday, however, the wind changed direction and the temperatures plummeted. We’ve had lots of bright blue skies, lots of wind and “freezing” temperatures (it’s all relative, after all).

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24 October 2021 – Amusements

Arthur was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink.

“You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!”

Now Arthur gets pretty annoyed about this, and goes on the offensive.

“How do you know, Sister? Have you ever had a drink yourself? How can you be sure that what you are saying is right?”

“Don’t be ridiculous – of course I have never taken alcohol myself”

“Then let me buy you a drink – if you still believe afterwards that it is evil I will give up drink for life”

“How could I, a Nun, sit outside this public house drinking?”

“I’ll get the barman to put it in a teacup for you, then no one will know”

The Nun reluctantly agrees, so Arthur goes inside to the bar.

“Another pint for me, and a triple vodka on the rocks”, then he lowers his voice and says to the barman “… and could you put the vodka in a teacup?”

“Oh Lord!” exclaims the barman. “It’s not that drunk Nun again, is it?”

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17 October 2021 – Amusements

A man walks into a bar and orders three beers.

The bartender brings him the three beers, and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third, until they’re gone.

He then orders three more and the bartender says, “Sir, don’t you like your beer cold? Why don’t you start with one, and I’ll bring you a fresh one as soon as you’re low.”

The man says, “You don’t understand. I have two brothers, one in Austria and one in Ireland. We made a vow to each other when they moved away that every Saturday night, we’d still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three beers too, and we’re drinking together.”

The bartender thinks it’s a wonderful tradition, and every week he sets up the guy’s three beers. Then one week, the man comes in and orders only two. He drinks them and then orders two more. The bartender says sadly, “Knowing your tradition, I’d just like to say that I hope nothing has happened to one of your brothers.”

The man replies, “Oh, my brothers are fine — I just quit drinking.”

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17 October 2021

I guess it’s true, there’s no point trying to deny it any longer – Autumn is on the way. The nights are drawing in, the leaves are turning and the mornings seem increasingly misty with an Autumnal feel. Mustn’t complain, really – the temperature is still very tolerable for the time of year but it’s all downhill from here, I’m afraid.

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10 October 2021 – Amusements

The Ten Commandments display was recently removed from the Alabama Supreme Court building. There was a good reason for the move. You can’t post

Thou Shalt Not Steal,
Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,
and Thou Shall Not Lie

in a building full of lawyers and politicians without creating a hostile work environment.

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3 October 2021

It’s been a pretty decent week, I suppose – thanks for asking. The weather has been changeable to be sure – we had a deluge of a downpour on Sunday night/Monday morning and it’s been considerably cooler of late. Apparently, the temperature is now more in line with general expectations for the time of year – I guess we’ve just been spoiled of late. In short, it’s been windy and fresh with a decidedly autumnal feeling. Downhill from here, I guess.

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26 September 2021 – Amusements

I deliver pizza to help cover my college tuition. Once I called on customers who sent their seven-year-old son to pay me. As he approached the screen door, I noticed he was carrying a check in one hand and two dollars in the other, which I assumed was my tip.

To my dismay, he pocketed the bills before handing me the check, which was for the exact cost of the pizza.

“Could that have been a tip?” I asked, trying not to sound accusatory.

“Yep,” he replied proudly. “Not bad for just a walk from the living room and back!”

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