My wife has this red ‘Christmas’ lingerie with faux fur around the neck and cuffs and it comes with a little Santa hat.
“I hate this outfit,” I said when she walked into the room.
She replied, “Then why are you wearing it?”
If you’re singing Christmas songs on your neighbor’s lawn at night with your church group, it’s called “caroling.”
But if you’re doing it alone with no pants on, it’s called “drunk and disorderly.”
I figured that at age seven it was inevitable for my son to begin having doubts about Santa Claus.
Sure enough, one day he said, “Mom, I think I’ve figured something out about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy.”
Taking a deep breath, I asked him, “What is that?”
He replied, “They’re all nocturnal.”
On New Year’s Eve, Patty stood up in the local bar and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted everyone to be standing next to the one person who made their life worth living.
As the clock struck 12, chaos erupted as the bartender was almost crushed to death.