Greg's Occasional News & Views

16 April 2017 – Amusements

Even though we’ve had this one before, it seems particularly appropriate in these wacky political times in which we find ourselves:

Five surgeons are having drinks together at a surgical convention and making jokes.

The first, a Florida surgeon, says: “I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”

The second, a Michigan surgeon, responds: “Yeah, but you should try electricians. Everything inside of them is color coded.”

The third, a California surgeon, says: “No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside of them is in alphabetical order.”

The fourth, a New York surgeon, chimes in: “You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.”

But the fifth, from Washington D.C. shut them all up when he observed, “You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, no brains, no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable.”


As one of relatively few female airline pilots, I’ve often been mistaken for a flight attendant, ticket agent or even a snack-bar employee. Occasionally people will see me in uniform and ask if I’m a “real” pilot. Still others congratulate me for making it in a male-dominated field.

One day, I was in the restroom before a flight. I was at the sink, brushing my teeth, when a woman walked through the door and looked over at me. “My sister would be so proud of you!” she remarked.

“Oh, is your sister an airline pilot too?” I asked.

With a confused expression the woman said, “No. She’s a dentist.”


My wife and her friend Karen were talking about their labour-saving devices as they pulled into our driveway. Karen said, “I love my new garage-door opener.”

“I love mine too,” my wife replied, and honked the horn three times. That was the signal for me to come out and open the garage.


 

2 Responses to 16 April 2017 – Amusements

  • No amusements this week?

    • Sincere apologies! Due to a “technical glitch” the Amusements failed to self-publish on schedule yesterday. As soon as I find out which of our technical staff was responsible for this oversight, he/she/they will be thrashed mercilessly and made to walk around the metropolis dressed as a chicken.

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