Greg's Occasional News & Views

2 July 2017 – Amusements

I think we’ve had this before?

My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market. I went and looked around and couldn’t find any.

So I grabbed a harassed and tired looking employee and said, “These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?”

The produce guy looked at me and said, “No, sir, you’ll have to do that yourself.”


Little Johnny’s father asked him what he wanted for his birthday. “A baby brother,” he said. Later that year, his mother came home from the hospital with a baby boy.

Little Johnny was delighted. “And what would you like this year for your birthday?” his father asked.

He said, “If it isn’t too uncomfortable for mommy, I’d like a pony.”


A man worked for a road crew. One day he woke up ill with a touch of laryngitis, but being a dedicated employee, he went to work. The boss felt rather sorry for the worker and didn’t want him to do any physical labor, as they were repairing a part of the freeway.

He says, “Why don’t you go down the road and tell people to slow down going through the construction?”

The worker is glad for the easy day. He stops the first vehicle. “Sir,” he whispers, his throat feeling worse, “please slow down, there’s a road crew up ahead.”

“Okay,” the driver whispers back, “I’ll try not to wake them.”


 

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