Greg's Occasional News & Views

Daily Archives: 30 July 2017

30 July 2017 – Amusements

A man walks out on his front porch one day and sees a gorilla in the tree on his front lawn. He calls animal control and an hour later a man shows up with a ladder, a pit bull, and a shotgun.

The animal control employee tells the man, “I’m here to get the gorilla out of your tree. I’m going to use this ladder to climb up the tree and shake the branch the gorilla is on to knock him to the ground. The pit bull is trained to go after anything that falls from the tree and bites their testicles which paralyzes the animal with pain so I can lock him in the truck.”

The man says, “Okay, I see what the ladder and the pit bull are for but what is the shotgun for?”

The animal control employee says, “Oh, that’s for you. In case I fall out of the tree instead of the gorilla, shoot the dog.” Continue reading

30 July 2017

Another good(ish) week – what are the chances of that? We did, finally, get a bit of the rain which has been threatened by the forecasters for the past several weeks. The weather map on Tuesday evening was awash with deep blue rain-signifying symbols covering the entire country. On Wednesday it did, indeed, rain but not nearly the deluge we had been led to believe would arrive. Instead we had a gentle sprinkle for much of the day which will have done Penelope’s garden a world of good but probably won’t fill the reservoirs to overflowing. Continue reading

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