Greg's Occasional News & Views

17 September 2017 – Amusements

Two older, successful businessmen met at a resort. One who had recently retired was describing his life, “I get up late in the morning, have a light breakfast and then I lie down on my veranda for a few hours and relax.

In the afternoon I go inside for lunch, have a great salad, fruits and cold fish, then I spend the rest of the afternoon boating or playing golf or tennis.

When it starts to get dark I have a great dinner with a nice bottle of wine. I smoke a Cuban cigar. Then I go lie on my veranda again.”

The other gentleman acknowledges that this is a life to be envied. Later he reported the conversation to his wife. She asked, “What’s his wife’s name?”

Her husband said, “I’m not sure, but I think it’s Veranda.”


Little Pete came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing. It was obvious he’d been in a bad fight and lost. While his father was patching him up, he asked his son what happened.

“Well, Dad,” said Pete, “I challenged Larry to a duel. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons.”

“Uh-huh,” said the father, “that seems fair.”

“I know, but I never thought he’d choose his sister!”


When Diane found out she was pregnant, she told the good news to anyone who would listen. But her 4-year-old son overheard some of her parents’ private conversations. One day when Diane and her 4-year-old were shopping a woman asked the little boy if he was excited about the new baby.

“Yes!” the 4-year-old said, “and I know what we are going to name it, too. If it’s a girl we’re going to call her Christina and if it’s another boy we’re going to call it quits!”


 

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