Greg's Occasional News & Views

21 January 2018 – Amusements

While I was dining out with my children, a friend of my neighbour, who recognized us, came over to our table, and we started talking.

He asked where my kids go to school. I told him we home-schooled them.

With a raised eyebrow, he asked if my husband is the sole breadwinner for our family.

I said, “No, I also work… but out of our home.”

Then, noticing our two-month-old son, he mentioned that his daughter had just had a baby, and he wondered what hospital our son was born in.

“He was born at home,” I answered.

The man looked at me and said, “You don’t get out much, do you?”


Eric is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer. Tom walks in and sits down. After trying to start a conversation several times and getting only distracted grunts he asks Eric what the problem is.

“Well,” said Eric, “I ran afoul of one of those trick questions women ask. Now I’m in deep trouble at home.”

“What kind of question?” asked Tom.

“My wife asked me if I would still love her if she was old, fat and ugly.”

“That’s easy,” said Tom. “You just say ‘Of course I will'”.

“Yeah,” said Eric, “That’s what I did, except I said, ‘Of course I DO….'”


A college student could not take his seminar final exam because of a funeral.

“No problem,” the teacher told him. “Make it up the following week.” That week came, and again he couldn’t take the test due to another funeral.

“You’ll have to take the test early next week,” the professor insisted. “I can’t keep postponing it.”

“I’ll take the test next week if no one dies,” the undergrad replied.

By now I the instructor was suspicious. “How can you have so many people you know pass away in three weeks?”

“I don’t know any of these people,” the student exclaimed. “But I’m the only gravedigger in town.”


 

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