Greg's Occasional News & Views

28 January 2018 – Amusements

Jack had been a compulsive worrier for years, to the point it was ruining his life. He saw a psychologist who recommended a specialist who could help him. His friend, Bob, noticed a dramatic change and asked, “What happened? Nothing seems to worry you anymore.”

“I hired a professional worrier and I haven’t had a worry since,” replied Jack.

“That must be expensive,” Bob replied.

“He charges $5,000 a month,” Jack told him.

“$5,000!!! How in the world can you afford to pay him?” exclaimed Bob.

“I don’t know. That’s his problem.”


The girlfriend stands by the door, not sure what to say. “Honey, why is the whole upper half of your body covered in baby oil?”

“Well, you’re always saying I never glisten,” replies the boyfriend.

“Listen! I said you never LISTEN!”


On duty as a customer-service rep for a car-rental company, I took a call from a driver who needed a tow. He was stranded on a busy highway, but he didn’t know the make of the car he was driving. I asked again for a more detailed description beyond a “blue, four-door sedan.” 

“It’s the one on fire,” he replied. 


 

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