Greg's Occasional News & Views

Monthly Archives: February 2018

25 February 2018

The calendar says it’s still February but there are signs of spring everywhere – crocuses and daffodils peeking their heads out to check the weather and new-born lambs gambolling in the fields. Still, the calendar says it’s still February and the bitterly freezing arctic winds and the heavy frosts suggest that winter’s not done yet! Continue reading

25 February 2018 – Amusements

It’s the day before Thanksgiving and the butcher is just locking up when a man pounds on the door. “Please let me in,” says the man, “I forgot to buy a turkey and my wife will kill me if I don’t come home with one.”

“Okay,” says the butcher. “Let me see what’s left.” He goes into the freezer and discovers that there’s only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man.

“That one’s too skinny. What else have you got”? says the man. The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes then brings the same turkey back out to the man.

“Oh no,” says the man, “that one doesn’t look any better. You better give me both of them.” Continue reading

18 February 2018

It’s your lucky day – very little news this week!

Date Night this week was a lovely dinner out at the Crown Inn at Weston on Thursday evening. One might imagine that I would take my sweetheart out on Wednesday for Valentine’s Day. Wednesday, however, is one of those days when Penelope runs and jumps about for a couple of hours in the evening. So, Thursday it was. Continue reading

18 February 2018 – Amusements

A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband’s two.

Suspecting the worse, she reaches for an extra pillow and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can, letting her anger and frustration out. Once she’s done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.

He says, “Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?” Continue reading

11 February 2018

Another good week. A couple of gloriously glorious bright sunny days, as well as a couple of absolute stinkers but at least, in terms of daylight, we’re on an upward trend. That’s got to be good news, right? Continue reading

11 February 2018 – Amusements

My husband and I took our two-year-old daughter to the home-improvement store.

Madison got tired of walking, so my husband let her ride on his shoulders. As he walked, Madison began pulling his hair. Although he asked her to stop several times, she kept on.

Getting annoyed, he scolded, “Madison! Stop that!”

“But, Daddy,” she replied, “I’m just trying to get my gum back.” Continue reading

4 February 2018

Aren’t Thursdays great? At least they are in this household – it’s one day of the week (of two) when neither Penelope nor I need to get out of bed at an “early” hour. This week we were still lounging in bed when the doorbell rang. “Who the f**k is that at this time of the morning?” I asked before glancing at my watch to see that it was almost 9.30. As it turns out it was a courier delivering a parcel of goodies. Aren’t Thursdays great? Continue reading

4 February 2018 – Amusements

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be yours. If it doesn’t come back, it was never yours to begin with.

But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn’t appear to realise that you had set it free…. you either married it or gave birth to it. Continue reading

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