Greg's Occasional News & Views

Daily Archives: 15 April 2018

15 April 2018

Another wet, damp, dismal and dreary week, just for a change. The weather people say, though, that this coming week should be much better – here’s hoping.

Jackdaws (and crows generally) are very clever birds. I suspect that the one(s) which found themselves down our dining room fireplace learned never to attempt to build a nest on a chimney pot again, or at least not on our dining room chimney pot. What a shame that the humans who inhabit the place were not smart enough to do something about the chimney before the second batch of jackdaws made their way down. Continue reading

15 April 2018 – Amusements

“Hello! Is this Gordon’s Pizza?”

“No sir, it’s Google’s Pizza.”

“Did I dial the wrong number?

“No sir, Google bought the pizza store.”

“Oh, alright then. I’d like to place an order please.”

“Okay sir, do you want the usual?”

“The usual? You know what my usual is?”

“According to the caller ID, the last 15 times you’ve ordered a 12-slice with double-cheese, sausage, and thick crust.”

“Okay, that’s what I want this time too.”

“May I suggest that this time you order an 8-slice with ricotta, arugula, and tomato instead?”

“No, I hate vegetables.”

“But your cholesterol is not good.”

“How do you know?”

“Through the subscribers guide. We have the results of your blood tests for the last 7 years.”

“You know what, I’m sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, and everyone else having all my information! I’m going to an island without internet, where there’s no cellphone line, and no one to spy on me!”

“I understand sir. But you may want to renew your passport… it expired 5 weeks ago.” Continue reading

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Last updated: 04/19/2018

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