Greg's Occasional News & Views

22 April 2018 – Amusements

A young mother was standing outside a mall holding her six-month-old baby and her sister’s three-month-old baby.

Two women approached the mother. “Are they twins?” one asked.

“No, they’re three months apart.”

“My! You sure had them close together.”


The old definition of a split second is the time between the light turning green and when the driver behind you honks their horn.

The new definition of a split second is the time between when the commercial starts and your spouse says, “You have the remote!”


At the Henry Street Hebrew School, Goldplate, the new teacher, finished the day’s lesson. It was now time for the usual question period.

“Mr. Goldplate,” announced little Joey, “there’s something’ I can’t figure out.”

“What is that Joey?” asked Goldplate.

“Well according to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?”

“Right.”

“And the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?”

“Er–right.”

“And the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?”

“Again you are right.”

“And the Children of Israel fought the Egyptians, and the Children of Israel fought the Romans, and the Children of Israel were always doing something’ important, right?”

“All that is right, too,” agreed Goldplate. “So what is your question?”

“What I want to know is this,” demanded Joey. “What were all the grownups doing?”


 

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