Greg's Occasional News & Views

20 May 2018 – Amusements

The district attorney was cross-examining the murderess on the witness stand.

“And so after you had poisoned the coffee and your husband sat at the breakfast table partaking of the fatal dosage, didn’t you feel any qualms? Didn’t you feel the slightest pity for him knowing that he was about to die and was wholly unconscious of it?”

“Yes,” she answered. “Come to think of it…there was just a moment when I sort of felt sorry for him.”

“And, when was that?”

“When he asked for the second cup.”


During a practical exercise at a military police base, the instructor was giving the class instruction in unarmed self-defence.

After he presented a number of different situations in which they might find themselves, he asked a student, “What steps would you take if someone were coming at you with a large, sharp knife?”

The student replied, “BIG ones.”


I asked my daughter if she’d seen my newspaper.

She told me that newspapers are old school.

She said that people use tablets nowadays and handed me her iPad.

The fly didn’t stand a chance.


 

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