27 May 2018 – Amusements
During the final exam, the professor noticed that Billy Walters kept looking at his hand before writing down an answer on his test. This went on throughout the entire exam, leaving the professor no other choice than to interrogate the student’s test-taking habit.
“Mr. Walters,” the professor began. “Is there something interesting written on your palm?”
“Not at all,” Billy replied. “It’s all pretty boring.”
I was waiting tables at a country club when an elegantly dressed woman spilled Manhattan clam chowder all over her white linen skirt. She began furiously dabbing at it with a napkin.
Having plenty of experience with getting out feed stains, I asked, “Can I bring you some club soda?”
“Young lady,” she barked, “I’ll be the judge of when I’ve had enough to drink. Bring me another martini!”
Heavy snow had buried my van in our driveway. My husband, Scott, dug around the wheels, rocked the van back and forth and finally pushed me free. I was on the road when I heard an odd noise. I got on my cell and called home. “Thank God you answered,” I said when Scott picked up. “There’s this alarming sound coming under the van. For a minute I thought I was dragging you down the highway.”
“And you didn’t stop?”