Greg's Occasional News & Views

3 June 2018 – Amusements

Walking home one night, this guy hears a, “Psst! Psst!-give me a hand with this pig would you?”

Looking into the shadows the guy sees his neighbour holding onto a restless and agitated pig. “What are you planning to do with that?” he asks.

“I’m carrying it indoors and putting in the bath tub.”

“Why do you wanna’ do a thing like that?”

“Well, you see, it’s my wife. She is one of those women who knows EVERYTHING! I tell her that the price of petrol has shot up again…she says I know! I tell her there is more trouble in the Middle East again … she says I know! I tell her Francis down the street is getting a divorce and she knows that, too. Well, tomorrow morning, since she always gets up before me, I’ll wait for her to come running to me screaming ‘THERE’S A PIG IN THE BATH! THERE’S A PIG IN BATH!'”

And I’ll just turn to her and say, “Yeah, I know!”


A man arrives at a rest home for his first day. He is greeted at the door by a woman.

She says, “You look like my 7th husband.”

The man replies, “How many times have you been married?”

“Six.”


While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas, my mother was sitting across the aisle from a woman and her eight-year-old son. Mom couldn’t help laughing as they neared their destination and she heard the mother say to the boy, “Now remember, run to Daddy first, then the dog.”


 

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