Greg's Occasional News & Views

5 August 2018 – Amusements

One night, a lady stumbled into the police station with a black eye. She claimed she heard a noise in her backyard and went to investigate. The next thing she knew she was hit in the eye and knocked out cold.

An officer was sent to her house to investigate and he returned 1-1/2 hours later with a black eye.

“Did you get hit by the same person?” his captain asked.

“No,” he replied. “I stepped on the same rake.”


The supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts and I intended to stock up. At the store, however, I was disappointed to find only a few skimpy pre-packaged portions of the poultry, so I complained to the butcher.

“Don’t worry,” she said, “I’ll pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping.”

Several aisles later, I heard the lady butcher’s voice boom over the public-address system: “Will the gentleman who was looking for bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store.”


An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: “Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist.”

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote more than 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.

Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all.

His answer consisted of two words: “What chair?”


 

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