Monthly Archives: September 2018
What a lovely, lovely week. We’ve had some gorgeous sunny days with bright blue skies and unseasonably warm temperatures – up to 20C in the middle of the week. I think that’s what is sometimes known as an Indian Summer! Penelope has been taking advantage of the fine weather and has been gardening as if any day now normal weather conditions will prevail. I also was involved but fortunately my tool of choice was a chainsaw (used under relatively close supervision, of course) as I removed an overgrown and misplaced bay tree and the most vicious rose bush known to mankind. Adam and I have also continued our progress on the never-ending garden project which moves slowly closer toward completion. We’ll have a description and photos soon, I promise! Continue reading
The man selling two-dollar tickets at Monmouth Racetrack registered complete surprise when a horse stepped up to the window, and asked to bet on himself.
“What’s the matter?” snorted the horse. “Are you astonished that I can talk?”
“Not at all,” said the man. “I’m surprised that you think you can win.” Continue reading
Well, it wasn’t quite 27C on Tuesday as predicted by one of our Pilates classmates last week but it was decidedly balmy. We had the remnants of tropical storm Ali busting its way through the British Isles with a fair bit of rain and strong winds drawing in warm weather from the south – warm, wet and windy, in other words, rather like a toddler in nappies. Continue reading
Jack goes to his friend Joe and says, “I’m sleeping with the minister’s wife. Can you keep him back in church for an hour after service for me?”
Joe doesn’t like it, but being a friend, he agrees.
After the service, Joe starts talking to the minister, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied.
Finally the minister gets annoyed and asks Joe what he’s really up to.
Joe, feeling guilty, finally confesses to the minister. “My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied.”
The minister thinks for a minute, smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Joe’s shoulder and says, “If I were you I’d hurry home right now. Because my wife died a year ago.” Continue reading
Autumn seems to be but just around the corner. The mornings have turned decidedly crisper and the two of our trees which do anything colourful have already started displaying their first blushes. Still, someone at Pilates on Friday announced that it was supposed to be 27o Celsius on Tuesday (80 F). That would be nice, but most everyone reckoned she must have been looking at the wrong country. Continue reading
The farmer’s son was returning from the market with the crate of chickens his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open.
Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighborhood scooping up the wayward birds and returning them to the repaired crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy reluctantly returned home, expecting the worst.
“Pa, the chickens got loose,” the boy confessed sadly, “but I managed to find all twelve of them.”
“Well, you did real good, son,” the farmer beamed, “because you only left with seven.” Continue reading
A relatively quiet yet very pleasant week, if any week with a two-year old in residence can ever be considered “quiet”. Very pleasant weather (again) but it is beginning to feel somewhat Autumnal – I’m not sure I’m ready to hunker down for winter yet! Continue reading
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
“Where’s Hank?” the others asked.
“Hank had a stroke o’ some kind. He’s a couple of miles back up the trail,” the successful hunter replied.
“You left Hank layin’ out there and carried the deer back?” they asked.
“A tough call,” nodded the hunter, “but I figured no one’s gonna steal Hank!” Continue reading
Another busy week! A MAD outing, an early Film Night special, the departure of one of our tenants and the annual Village Gardening Show! As well as lots of progress on the never-ending garden project. Oh my goodness, I am certainly not up to this sort of pace. Continue reading
After a trial had been going on for three days, Harrison, the man accused of committing the crimes, stood up and approached the judge’s bench.
“Your Honor, I would like to change my plea from ‘innocent’ to ‘guilty’ of the charges.”
The judge angrily banged his fist on the desk. “If you’re guilty, why didn’t you say so in the first place and save this court a lot of time and inconvenience?” he demanded.
Harrison looked up wide-eyed and stated, “Well, when the trial started I thought I was innocent, but that was before I heard all the evidence against me.” Continue reading