After a trial had been going on for three days, Harrison, the man accused of committing the crimes, stood up and approached the judge’s bench.
“Your Honor, I would like to change my plea from ‘innocent’ to ‘guilty’ of the charges.”
The judge angrily banged his fist on the desk. “If you’re guilty, why didn’t you say so in the first place and save this court a lot of time and inconvenience?” he demanded.
Harrison looked up wide-eyed and stated, “Well, when the trial started I thought I was innocent, but that was before I heard all the evidence against me.”
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender laughs and says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!”
The grasshopper looks at the bartender, with a look of extreme confusion on his face, and says, “You have a drink called Steve?”
I was doing an overnight at a hotel away from home, and I took my computer down to the bar to do some work. I sat down at the bar and I asked the bartender, “What’s the Wi-Fi password?”
Bartender: “You need to buy a drink first.”
Me: “Okay, I’ll have a beer.”
Bartender: “We have Molson’s Canadian on tap.”
Me: “Sure. How much is that?”
Bartender: “$8.00.”
Me: “Ok. Here you are. What’s the Wi-Fi password?”
Bartender: “youneedtobuyadrinkfirst, no spaces, all lowercase.”