Greg's Occasional News & Views

9 September 2018 – Amusements

A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.

“Where’s Hank?” the others asked.

“Hank had a stroke o’ some kind. He’s a couple of miles back up the trail,” the successful hunter replied.

“You left Hank layin’ out there and carried the deer back?” they asked.

“A tough call,” nodded the hunter, “but I figured no one’s gonna steal Hank!”


My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. He has his food prepared for him.

He can eat whenever he wants.

His meals are provided at no cost to him.

He visits the Doctor once a year for his check-up, and again during the year if any medical needs arise.

For this he pays nothing, and nothing is required of him.

He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep.

He makes no contribution to the running or maintenance of the house.

If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.

He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep. He receives these accommodations absolutely free.

He is living like a King, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.

All of his costs are picked up by others who go out, work hard, and earn a living every day.

I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head…

I think my dog might be in Congress!


A local veterinarian was known for his wry humor. He surpassed himself one summer day when a woman, who was visiting, brought a dog to him after an encounter with a porcupine.

After almost an hour of prying, pulling, cutting and stitching, he returned the dog to its owner, who asked what she owed.

“$150 dollars, ma’am,” he answered.

“Now that’s simply outrageous!” she stormed. “That’s what’s wrong with you people, you’re always trying to overcharge summer visitors. What do you do in the winter, when there is no one here to overcharge?”

“Raise porcupines, ma’am.”


 

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