Greg's Occasional News & Views

30 September 2018 – Amusements

The man selling two-dollar tickets at Monmouth Racetrack registered complete surprise when a horse stepped up to the window, and asked to bet on himself.

“What’s the matter?” snorted the horse. “Are you astonished that I can talk?”

“Not at all,” said the man. “I’m surprised that you think you can win.”


The young man at the flower shop was taking an unusually long time to place his order. When the clerk asked how she could help, he explained that his girlfriend was turning nineteen and he couldn’t decide whether to give her a dozen roses or nineteen roses — one for each year of her life.

The woman put aside her business judgment and advised, “She may be your nineteen-year-old girlfriend now, but someday she could be your fifty-year-old wife.”

The young man bought a dozen roses.


A member of a diet club bemoaned her lack of will-power. She had made her family’s favorite cake over the weekend, she explained, and they had eaten half of it. The next day, however, the uneaten half beckoned. She cut herself a slice. Then another, and another. By the time she had polished off the cake, she knew her husband would be disappointed.

“What did he say when he found out?” one club member asked.

“He never found out,” she said. “I made another cake and ate half.”


 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

September 2018
S M T W T F S
« Aug   Oct »
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30  
Upcoming Events
  • 16 December 2018 – Donna's Birthday

  • 16 December 2018 – Rod's Birthday

  • 22 December 2018 – Greg's Birthday

  • 25 December 2018 – Christmas Day

  • 28 December 2018 – Ash's Birthday

  • 28 December 2018 – Sandy & Pam's Anniversary

  • 1 January 2019 – New Year's Day

  • 7 January 2019 – Wolfgang Rinderknecht's Birthday

  • 20 January 2019 – Nick's Birthday

  • 24 January 2019 – Max's Birthday

Archives
Where are the Dodgers?
TeamWLPct.GB
Dodgers9271.564 -
Rockies9172.5581.0
Diamondbacks8280.5069.5
Giants7389.45118.5
Padres6696.40725.5

Last updated: 10/01/2018

Subscribe

Enter your email address to subscribe to the Moreton Pinkney Picayune and receive notifications of new posts by email.