Greg's Occasional News & Views

2 June 2019 – Amusements

There exists a widespread myth that humans should learn about sex from their parents. My relationship with my father nearly ended when he tried to teach me how to drive. I can’t imagine our relationship having survived his instructing me how to have sex.


I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.


English professors love to catch the errors students make in their term papers, and they love nothing better than to catch mixed metaphors. The “friends and survivors” of Calvin College English department collected this list of mixed metaphors and posted them on their web site:

“He swept the rug under the carpet.”

“She’s burning the midnight oil at both ends.”

“It was so cold last night I had to throw another blanket on the fire.”

“It’s time to step up to the plate and cut the mustard.”

“She’s robbing Peter to pay the piper.”

“He’s up a tree without a paddle.”

“Beware my friend…you are skating on hot water.”

“Keep your ear to the grindstone.”

“Sometimes you’ve gotta stick your neck out on a limb.”

“Some people sail through life on a bed of roses like a knife slicing through butter.”


 

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