Murphy and his wife went for a stroll in the park. They sit down on a bench to rest for a while. Soon they overhear voices coming from a secluded spot nearby. Suddenly, Mrs. Murphy realizes that a young man is about to propose. Not wanting to be eavesdropping during such an intimate moment, she gently nudges her husband and whispers, “Whistle, to let that young couple know that someone can hear them.”
To which Murphy replies, “Whistle? Why should I whistle? Nobody whistled to warn me?”
Spanish never came easily to my sister. Still, she did her best to communicate with the Spanish-speaking staff at the restaurant she managed. But when she made mistakes-and she made a lot-she’d apologize by saying, “Me estupido.”
Finally, a staffer took pity on her. “Susanna, you’re not estupido,” she said, bucking up my sister’s ego. “You are a woman,” she continued. “So you are estupida.”
A man is sitting in the coach section of a flight from New York to Chicago biting his finger nails and sweating profusely. Noticing his disturbed expression, a flight attendant walks over and says, “Sir, can I get you something from the bar to calm you down?”
The man gives a nod of approval while shaking terribly. She comes back with a drink and he downs it quickly. Ten minutes later, the flight attendant sees the same man shaking and biting his nails. She brings him another drink which he swallows immediately.
A half hour later she returns to see that the man is shaking uncontrollably, and apparently crying. “My goodness,” the flight attendant says, “I’ve never seen someone so afraid to fly.”
“I’m not afraid of flying,” says the man sobbing loudly, “I’m trying to give up drinking.”