14 July 2019 – Amusements
A car full of Irish nuns are sitting at a traffic light in down town Dublin, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them. “Hey, show us yer teets, ya bloody penguins!” shouts one of the drunks.
Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, “I don’t think they know who we are; show them your cross.”
Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, “Piss off, ya fookin’ little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off!”
Sister Mary Immaculata then rolls up her window, looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently, and asks, “Did that sound cross enough?”
Life in Lubbock, Texas taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you’re going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth, and you should save it for someone you love.
It was time for finals and a student was struggling with one particular question on his chemistry test.
The question was “If H2O if water, what is H2O4?”
This was a quick answer for most, but it took this student some thinking time.
Finally, he wrote down his answer: For drinking, washing, and cleaning.