Greg's Occasional News & Views

4 August 2019 – Amusements

My friend asked his father-in-law, a crop duster, how his day had gone.

“I had just the worst day,” replied the man. “This morning I was up in my plane dusting a field when I nicked a power line and damaged the wing on the plane. When I got back to the office, my boss chewed me out. Then the guy from the FAA chewed me out.

“On my way home, I stopped at a bar and was handed a warm beer. So I yelled at the bartender, ‘Don’t you have any cold beer?!’

“The bartender said, ‘Sorry, but we’ve been out of electricity all day ever since some idiot crop-duster hit a power line down the road.'”


Very Short Story

Man driving down road. Woman driving up same road. They pass each other.

Woman yells out window, PIG!

Man yells out window, BITCH!

Man rounds next curve.

Man crashes into a HUGE PIG in the middle of road and dies.

Thought for the Day: If men would just listen . . .


After 10 years, the wife starts to think their child looks a little odd, so she decides to do a DNA test. She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents.

Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you.

Husband: What’s up?

Wife: According to DNA test results, this is not our child.

Husband: Well, don’t you remember? When we were leaving the hospital that night, you saw the baby had pooped his diaper. Then you said: Please go change the baby, I’ll wait for you here. So I went inside, got a clean one and left the messy one there.


 

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