Greg's Occasional News & Views

10 November 2019 – Amusements

The boss joined a group of his workers in the company break room and told a joke he’d heard recently. Everybody laughed loudly. Everybody, that is, except Dewey.

When he noticed that he was getting no reaction from Dewey, the boss said, “What’s the matter, Dewey? No sense of humour?”

“My sense of humour is fine,” he said. “But I don’t have to laugh. I’m quitting tomorrow.”


My family physician told me of an incident that actually happened to him back in the early days of his practice.

He said a woman brought her baby to see him, and he determined right away that the baby had an earache. He wrote a prescription for ear drops. In the directions he wrote, “Put two drops in right ear every four hours” and he abbreviated “right” as an R with a circle around it.

Several days passed, and the woman returned with her baby, complaining that the baby still had an earache, and his little behind was getting really greasy with all those drops of oil.

The doctor looked at the bottle of ear drops and sure enough, the pharmacist had typed the following instructions on the label:

“Put two drops in R ear every four hours.”


A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more. The man said, “Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we’re so obsessed with getting laid?”

“That doesn’t prove anything,” the woman countered. “Think about this; when your ear itches and you put your finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better–your ear or your finger?”


 

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