24 November 2019 – Amusements
A man walks into a bar and orders three beers.
The bartender brings him the three beers, and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third, until they’re gone.
He then orders three more and the bartender says, “Sir, don’t you like your beer cold? Why don’t you start with one, and I’ll bring you a fresh one as soon as you’re low.”
The man says, “You don’t understand. I have two brothers, one in Austria and one in Ireland. We made a vow to each other when they moved away that every Saturday night, we’d still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three beers too, and we’re drinking together.”
The bartender thinks it’s a wonderful tradition, and every week he sets up the guy’s three beers. Then one week, the man comes in and orders only two. He drinks them and then orders two more. The bartender says sadly, “Knowing your tradition, I’d just like to just say that I hope nothing has happened to one of your brothers.”
The man replies, “Oh, my brothers are fine — I just quit drinking.”
Mary and her friend Jill are sitting by themselves in a bar having a drink. Mary says, “Jill, did you notice there are two guys sitting alone at the bar over there?”
“So?” Jill asks.
“Well, we’re two women sitting alone over here at a table, and there are two men sitting alone at the bar. What do you think that adds up to?”
Jill shrugs her shoulders, “Four losers?”
A guy comes home from work, walks into his bedroom, and finds a stranger in bed with his wife. He says, “What the hell are you two doing?”
His wife turns to the stranger and says, “I told you he was stupid.”