29 December 2019 – Amusements
I think the bottom-line difference between being single and married is this: When you’re single you’re as happy as you are. When you’re married, you can only be as happy as the least happy person in the house.
I’d been working on my business degree for about a year when I finally got to take a popular finance course. I went to the bookstore to buy the text and was shocked to find out that it would cost me $96. I asked how much it was worth if I sold it back at the end of the semester.
“You’ll get $24,” said the clerk.
“This is insane,” I protested as I wrote out the check.
“I know,” replied the clerk sympathetically. “I’ve always thought that a person who buys a finance book for $96 and then sells it back for $24 should fail the course.”
Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?”
“Certainly not,” said the Priest. “As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it.”
“I tried,” Brian sobbed, “but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?”
“If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your family.”
Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off.
When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey.