Greg's Occasional News & Views

19 January 2020 – Amusements

Rushing to get to the movies, my husband and I told the kids we had to leave “right now” at which point our teenage daughter headed for the bathroom to apply makeup. Her dad yelled for her to get in the car immediately, and headed for the garage grumbling.

On the way to the multiplex my husband glanced in the rear-view mirror and caught our teen applying lipstick and blush, which produced the predictable lecture. “Look at your mom,” he said. “She didn’t put on any makeup just to go sit in a dark movie theatre.”

From the back I heard, “Yeah, but Mom doesn’t need makeup.”

My heart swelling with the compliment, I turned back to thank this sweet, wonderful daughter of mine just as she continued, “Nobody looks at her.”


A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They are appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.

Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”

“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”


Husband: Do you know that on an average women says between 10,000 to 35,000 words a day?

Wife: Yes, that’s because they have to repeat everything so often to men.

Husband: What?


 

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