I was nervous the night my husband and I brought our three young sons to an upscale restaurant for the first time. My husband ordered a bottle of wine with the meal. When the waitress brought it, our children became quiet as she began the ritual uncorking.
She poured a small amount for me to taste, and then our six- year-old piped up, “Mom usually drinks a lot more than that!”
I was having a drink at a local restaurant with my friend Justin when he spotted an attractive woman sitting at the bar. After a half hour of gathering his courage, he approached her and asked, “Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?”
She responded by yelling at the top of her voice, “No, I won’t go home with you tonight!”
With everyone in the restaurant staring, Justin crept back to our table, puzzled and humiliated.
A few minutes later, the woman walked over to us and apologized.
“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you,” she said, “but I’m a graduate student in psychology and I’m studying human reaction to embarrassing situations.”
At the top of his lungs Justin replied, “What do you mean, two hundred dollars?!”
Two old men went hunting one day. A hang glider came soaring overhead and the first old man raised his gun and fired. After a brief pause the second old man asked “Did you get it, whatever it was?”
The first old man replied “No, I think I missed it. But I sure as heck made it turn loose that poor fella it was carrying away!”