The company my brother worked for had a phone system that rerouted after-hours calls. If any calls came in on a certain line while he was working late, Dave knew it would be a wrong number. It got to the point where as soon as the phone rang, Dave would pick up and say, “Psychic Hotline. I’m sorry, but you’ve dialled the wrong number.”
The caller would often reply with something like, “But I didn’t even ask to speak to anyone yet. How did you know I dialled the wrong…. Oh!” (Click.)
At an art gallery, a woman and her 10 year old son were having a tough time choosing between two paintings. They finally chose and went with the autumn themed one.
“I see you prefer an autumn scene as opposed to a floral one,” said the gallery owner, who happened to be nearby and witnessed the mother-son interaction.
“No,” said the boy. “This painting is wider, so it’ll cover the three holes I put in the wall.”
This is an old one but one of my favourites . . .
A therapist has a theory that the more often couples make love, the happier they are. So he tests it at a seminar by asking those assembled, “How many people here make love 2 to 3 times a week?” Half the people raise their hands, each of them grinning widely. “How about once a week?” A third of the audience members raise their hands, their grins a bit less vibrant. “Once a month?” A few hands tepidly go up. Then he asks, “OK, how about once a year?”
One man in the back jumps up and down, jubilantly waving his hands. The therapist is shocked as this lone aberration disproves his theory. “If you make love only once a year,” he asks, “what are you so happy about?”
The man yells, “Tonight’s the night!”