A man goes to consult a specialist about his medical problem. After the visit the man asks, “How much do I owe you?”
“My fee is five hundred dollars,” replies the physician.
“Five hundred dollars? That’s impossible. No one charges that much!”
“In your case,” the doctor replies, “I suppose I could adjust my fee to three hundred.”
“Three hundred dollars? For one visit? Ridiculous.”
“Well, then, could you afford two hundred?”
“Who has that kind of money?”
“Look, replies the doctor,” growing irritated, “Just give me a hundred and get out of my office, okay?”
“I can give you fifty,” says the man. “Take it or leave it.”
“I don’t understand you,” says the doctor. “Why did you come to the most expensive doctor in New York if you have no money?”
“Listen, Doctor,” says the patient, “When it comes to my health, nothing is too good!”
The proud father brought home a backyard swing set for his children and immediately started to assemble it with all the neighborhood children anxiously waiting to play on it.
After several hours of reading the directions, attempting to fit bolt A into slot B, etc., he finally gave up and called upon an old handyman working in a neighboring yard.
The old-timer came over, threw the directions away, and in a short while had the set completely assembled.
It’s beyond me,” said the father, “how you got it together without even reading instructions.”
“To tell the truth,” replied the old-timer, “I can’t read, and when you can’t read, you’ve got to think.”
Last June, my friend told me about her plans for our upcoming prom. “I’m renting a stretch limo and spending $1,000 on a new dress, and I’ve reserved a table at the most expensive restaurant in town,” she said.
Our teacher overheard her and shook her head. “I didn’t spend that much on my wedding.”
My friend answered, “I can have three or four weddings. But a prom you do only once.”