13 December 2020 – Amusements

I spent 20 minutes explaining life insurance options to one of our employees. After reviewing the different plans and monthly deductions, he decided to max out, choosing $100,000 worth of life insurance. But he had one last question.

“Now,” he said, “what do I have to do to collect?

I apologise for the racism inherent in the following.

In Australia, the curb side garbage carts are called “wheelie bins.”

A garbage collector is driving along a Sydney street picking up the wheelie bins and emptying them into his rubbish truck. He goes to one house where the bin hasn’t been left out. In the spirit of kindness and after having a quick look about for the bin, he gets out of his truck, goes to the front door and knocks.

There’s no answer.

Being a conscientious bloke, he knocks again. Eventually, a Japanese man comes to the door.

“Harro!” says the Japanese man.

“G’day mate, where’s ya’ bin?” asks the collector.

“I bin on toilet,” explains the Japanese bloke, a bit perplexed.

Realizing the fellow had misunderstood him, the bin man smiles and tries again. “No mate, where’s ya’ dust bin?”

“I dust been to toilet, I toll you!” says the Japanese man, still perplexed.

“Listen,” says the garbage collector. “You’re misunderstanding me. I mean, where’s ya’ wheelie bin?'”

“OK, OK.” replies the Japanese man with a sheepish grin, and whispers in the collector’s ear. “I wheelie bin having sex wiffa wife’s sista!”

A man goes into the home improvement store and says, “I’d like to order 5,000 finishing bricks.”

“Certainly,” says the salesman, “Are they for a garage?”

“No,” says the man; “They’re for a Bar-B-Q.”

“Why do you need so many bricks for a bar-b-q?” asks the salesman.

“Well,” says the man, “we live in a 3rd floor flat.”

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