Two resident doctors were involved in a fight in the hospital. A senior consultant had to pull them apart. “What’s all this about?” asked the consultant angrily.
“It’s the tax auditor in C ward,” said one. “He’s only got 2 days to live.”
“He had to be told,” said the second doctor.
“I know,” said the first, “but I wanted to be the one to tell him!”
An Oklahoma woman was arrested for attempting to have her kids blow into her car’s breathalyser so that she could drive drunk. Even worse, her kids failed.
A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.
The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “What is your occupation?”
The woman replies, “I’m a whore.”
The accountant balks and says, “No, no. That will never work. Let’s try to rephrase that.”
The woman, “Ok, I’m a prostitute.”
“No, that still won’t get by. Try again.”
They both think for a minute, then the woman states, “Let’s say I’m a chicken farmer.”
The accountant asks, “What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?”
“Well, I raised over 1,000 cocks last year.”