RUNNING LATE: Official Glossary
“On the way.” – Still in bed.
“In the car.” – In the shower.
“GPS says 35 min.” – Getting ready.
“There’s traffic.” – Leaving the house.
“Parking now.” – 15 minutes out.
“Can’t find a spot.” – 5 minutes out.
“Walking in.” – Looking for a spot.
There is nothing worse than a Doctor’s Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients.
I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.
A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.
The Receptionist said, “Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?”
“There’s something wrong with my dick,” he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, “You shouldn’t come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.”
“Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you,” he said.
The receptionist replied, “Now you’ve caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the doctor in private.”
The man replied, “You shouldn’t ask people questions in a roomful of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone.” The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.
The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, “Yes?”
“There’s something wrong with my ear,” the man said.
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. “And what is wrong with your ear, sir?”
“I can’t piss out of it,” he replied.
The waiting room erupted in laughter.
Mess with seniors, and you’re going to lose.
After 10 years, the wife starts to think their child looks a little odd, so she decides to do a DNA test. She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents.
Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you.
Husband: What’s up?
Wife: According to DNA test results, this is not our child.
Husband: Well, don’t you remember? When we were leaving the hospital that night, you saw the baby had pooped his diaper. Then you said: Please go change the baby, I’ll wait for you here. So, I went inside, got a clean one and left the messy one there.