10 October 2021 – Amusements

The Ten Commandments display was recently removed from the Alabama Supreme Court building. There was a good reason for the move. You can’t post

Thou Shalt Not Steal,
Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,
and Thou Shall Not Lie

in a building full of lawyers and politicians without creating a hostile work environment.


I had just stopped by a burger drive-through for lunch to eat on the way back to work and I ordered the #1 combo (burger, fry, coke) for $4.29.

The drive-through cashier said “that’ll be $4.83, please drive forward.”

“$4.83? For a $4.29 meal? That’s 54 cents tax! That can’t be right.” My mind raced. Tax is 8 cents on the dollar in Huntsville and for 4 dollars that would be 32 cents plus 1/3 of 8 cents would be 35 cents max. I’d heard of window workers overcharging drive through customers and skimming the money for themselves. So I got a pen and paper and did the long division since there were 2 cars ahead of me.

Let’s see … 483/429 … over 12 percent tax! When I got to the window, I handed her a 5 and said, “$4.83 for a $4.29 meal is 12 percent tax. That can’t be right. Can I talk to the manager?” She gave me my change and called the manager.

The manager comes over and I ask what the sales tax is in Huntsville, and she says 8 percent. I say that I just paid $4.83 for a $4.29 meal and that’s over 12 percent sales tax.

She said that maybe the computer had rung it up wrong or had charged me for the bigger size. She admitted it was supposed to be $4.63, and opened the drawer to give me my extra change.

“HA!” I thought to myself. “Six years engineering school has so heightened my mental mathematical adeptness that I can do percentages in my head and my superior intellect has foiled a feeble attempt by a drive-through worker to overcharge me.”

I took the twenty cents she handed me, proud of my staggering genius, and smugly drove off without my food.


A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu.

* Grilled Tourist – $5.00
* Broiled Missionary – $10.00
* Fried Explorer – $15.00
* Baked Politician – $100.00

The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, “Why such a high price for the baked politician?”

The waiter replied, “Have you ever tried to clean a politician? They are so full of shit that it takes all day!”


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