MAN: answering a cell phone… “Hello”
WOMAN: on the phone…”Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
WOMAN: “I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?”
MAN: “Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.”
WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2015 models. I saw one I really liked.”
MAN: “How much?”
MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”
WOMAN: “OK. I’ll see you later! I love you!”
MAN: “Bye, I love you too.”
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he asks: “Anyone know who this phone belongs to?”
A farmer was sitting in the neighbourhood bar getting drunk. A man came in and asked the farmer, “Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day, getting drunk?”
The farmer shook his head and replied, “Some things you just can’t explain.”
“So, what happened that’s so horrible?” the man asked as he sat down next to the farmer.
“Well,” the farmer said, “today I was sitting by my cow, milking her. Just as I got the bucket full, she lifted her left leg and kicked over the bucket.”
“Okay,” said the man, “but that’s not so bad.”
“Some things you just can’t explain,” the farmer replied.
“So, what happened then?” the man asked.
The farmer said, “I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left.”
“And then?” the man asked.
“Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket.”
The man laughed and said, “Again?”
The farmer replied, “Some things you just can’t explain.”
“So, what did you do then?” the man asked.
“I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right.”
“Well, I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the bucket full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail.”
“Hmmm,” the man said and nodded his head.
“Some things you just can’t explain,” the farmer said.
“So, what did you do?” the man asked.
“Well,” the farmer said, “I didn’t have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in.”
“Some things you just can’t explain.”
My sister and I were out on the town one night when we ran into a man I knew. “You’re sisters?” he asked incredulously. “You look nothing alike.
Pointing to her nose and my chin, my sister said, “Different plastic surgeons.”