We’ve had this before but what the heck . . .
A young couple honeymooning in Las Vegas were down to their last two dollars. The groom told the bride that he had a feeling that he could turn the two bucks into a fortune if he went down to the casino alone.
Once in the casino, he put one dollar each into two slot machines and won Jackpots on both totalling $10,000. He then played blackjack for an hour until he had $50,000 in chips. Next, he played poker and upped his winnings to $100,000.
He was about to cash in his chips when he got a hunch that his luck hadn’t run out. So, he took all his money and placed it on Black at the roulette table, hoping to double his money. But the ball came up Red. He returned to his hotel room.
“How did you do?” asked the bride.
The groom shrugged and said, “I lost two dollars.”
A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie popped up out of his ashtray.
“And what will your third wish be?”
The man looked at the genie and said, “Huh? How can I be getting a third wish when I haven’t had a first or second wish yet?”
“You have had two wishes already,” the genie said, “but your second wish was for me to put everything back the way it was before you made your first wish. Thus, you remember nothing, because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes. You now have one wish left.”
“Okay,” said the man, “I don’t believe this, but what the heck. I’ve always wanted to understand women. I’d love to know what’s going on inside their heads.”
“Funny,” said the genie as it granted his wish and disappeared forever, “That was your first wish, too!”
On my 40th birthday I waltzed out of my bedroom dressed in an old outfit I dug out of the back of the closet.
“I wore this on my 30th birthday! I guess that means my wardrobe is ten years old,” I said to my husband, hoping he’d take the hint and buy me some clothes as a present.
“Or,” he offered instead, “it means when you were 30 you had the body of a 40-year-old.”