1 May 2022

Relatively quiet week – the weather has been cold and cloudy. And, since we have to leave the door to Penny’s workroom open to allow Miss Daisy unhindered access to the great outdoors, that room is also cold and it seeps through the rest of the house. Time for some warm, sunny weather please.

Later today we go to collect the Campervan! We’re very excited. We’ve not determined where we might go first but I suspect you will be amongst the first to know. Hopefully, I will remember to include some photos next week.

Getting the insurance organised was a bit of a hassle and I learned something new to me and, at the same time, utterly bizarre to me. Together we have many years of no claims and, of course, the insurance folks give you a discount for not having made a claim over many years. Since we went down to just one car about three years ago, the no claims discount has been in Penny’s name – I am a named driver on her insurance and together we share many years of no claims. When organising the new insurance not surprisingly the new insurers ask you to provide some proof from your current insurer that you do, indeed, have the years of no claims you state. So, I approached our insurance company to ask for a copy of the NCD certificate. Apparently, that’s not possible because the No Claims Discount is applied to the car, not the driver(s). If we provide proof of the NCD to the new insurer, we lose it on Penny’s car. This is, I was assured, standard industry practice which I have to say strikes me as utterly bizarre. It’s not the car which has accidents which lead to claims, it’s the driver(s). But no, our insurance company will not provide evidence of our 20+ years of no claims unless we were to cancel the insurance on Penny’s car. It just confirms what I’ve always thought – insurance companies are crooks.

Daisy continues to be an absolute delight. House training is proceeding well although she does get confused between the grey patio slabs and the grey stone kitchen tiles, especially with the bifold doors open. “Looks the same to me!” The other “problem” area is when you come down in the morning or go into her room after a period of absence – she gets so excited to see you that she widdles all over the place. Penny and I have now perfected a scoop-and-run procedure where she gets whisked into our arms and deposited outdoors before she has an opportunity to demonstrate her affection. We’ll get there.

Adam brought Jessie around the other day to introduce her to Daisy. The afternoon before we had a Zoom call with her to introduce them to each other. We played 20 Questions with Jessie so that she could work out what it was we wanted to show her.

Animal, Vegetable or Mineral?
Animal.
Does it have fur?
Yes.
Does it have four legs?
Yes.
Is it blue?
Uh, no.
Is it a giraffe?
Uh, no.
Is it smaller than a giraffe?
Yes.
Is it a cat?
No.
Is it a dog?
Yes! Daisy, meet Jessica.
Actually, I prefer cats to dogs.

We were in hysterics! They did have fun though.

There are so many YCNMIU moments this week. Take your pick – the delay, for the fourth time, of the implementation of post-Brexit fresh food checks. Apparently, this is being spun as more evidence that the UK has “taken back control” but in fact it’s due to the “magic” software that was going to make this all possible is still not ready, six years after the Brexit vote. And, to make it even more jaw-droppingly laughable, the minister responsible, the looniest of the looney Brexiteers, admitted that implementing Brexit in full, honouring the 2016 promise to take back control of Britain’s borders, would be “an act of self-harm”. Hmm, I seem to remember that’s more or less what the Remainers said at the time.

Related to that, how about the UK ports thinking about taking legal action against the government for the delay? They’ve spent millions on building the infrastructure necessary to handle the new checks whenever they come but they now fear, after the latest delay, that the infrastructure will never be used.

Or, perhaps the Home Secretary’s announcement a few weeks ago that refugees and asylum seekers will be flown to Rwanda while their visa applications are assessed? Certainly unethical, very probably illegal and someone worked out that it will be more expensive to operate than housing the refugees/asylum seekers at the Ritz. You really could not make it up but, then again, the Home Secretary has form in this regard.

But, for this week’s YCNMIU instalment I’ve settled on the Conservative member of Parliament who has been accused (by two female Conservative MPs) of watching pornography on his phone in the chamber. Every time I think we’ve come across the most stupid of stupid members of the Conservative party, one of them manages to lower the bar still further. Think about it – you’re in the House of Commons during a debate or statement. Proceedings in the House are televised and you’re watching porn on your phone. You could not make it up!

And finally, the apple blossom in the orchard has been stunning. It’s just a shame we haven’t had a bright, sunny day with a brilliant bright blue sky to show it off. These will have to do.

And finally, finally, a couple of photos of a couple of adorable young girls who clearly adore one another.

And finally, finally, finally, we received this on Friday – another Readathon certificate for Jessie. We’re so proud of her.

And finally, finally, finally, finally, I almost forgot – I have settled on my next virtual cycling excursion. I am going to ride le Tour de France. Twenty-one stages, the longest of which is 220 km (a touch under 137 miles) and the shortest, the initial time trial stage, is a trivial 13 km (just over 8 miles). Le Tour begins on 1 July – I wonder if I will have finished by the time they do – Sunday 24 July? I am getting more than a two month head start but they ride five to six hours a day and they complete a stage each day – I’ll be lucky to complete a stage a fortnight! They also cycle at about five times the speed I do. I’m sure your local bookmaker would be happy to offer you good odds on my not finishing before the end of July.

With the mileage I’ve ticked off since I finished the Route 66 adventure, I’ve already completed Stage One and I’m over half way through Stage Two as well.

The route this year is visiting some wonderful places, including some places we’ve been (Carcassonne, Peyragudes) and including one, Rocamadour, which we’ve actually ridden into and out of. I’ll let you know how I get on.

Meanwhile, keep happy, keep smiling, be careful, wear a f**king facemask in crowded places and keep your distance. And keep safe.

Lots of love to you all,

Greg

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.