One day, an employee received an unusually large pay check. She decided not to say anything about it.
The following week, her check was short the overpayment she received the previous week. So, she confronted her boss about it.
“How come,” her boss inquired, “you didn’t say anything when you were overpaid?”
Unperturbed, the employee replied, “Well, I can overlook one mistake – but two in a row is getting unacceptable!”
“What’s your father’s occupation?” asked the school secretary on the first day of the new academic year.
“He’s a magician, ma’am,” said Little Johnny.
“How interesting. What’s his favourite trick?”
“He saws people in half.”
“Wow! Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?”
“One half brother and two half-sisters.”
Eric is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer. Tom walks in and sits down. After trying to start a conversation several times and getting only distracted grunts he asks Eric what the problem is.
“Well,” said Eric, “I ran afoul of one of those trick questions women ask. Now I’m in deep trouble at home.”
“What kind of question?” asked Tom.
“My wife asked me if I would still love her if she was old, fat and ugly.”
“That’s easy,” said Tom. “You just say ‘Of course I will'”.
“Yeah,” said Eric, “That’s what I did, except I said, ‘Of course I DO…!'”