Out in space two alien forms are speaking with each other.
The first spaceman says, “The dominant life forms on the earth planet have developed satellite-based weapons.”
The second alien, who looks exactly like the first, asks, “Are they an emerging intelligence?”
The first spaceman says, “I don’t think so. They have them aimed at themselves.”
A young artist exhibits her work for the first time, and a well-known art critic is in attendance.
The critic says to the young artist, “Would you like to hear my opinion of your work?”
“Yes,” the artist replies.
“It’s worthless,” the critic says.
“I know,” the artist replies, “but let’s hear it anyway.”
On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee whereupon the parrot squawks, ‘And get me a coke, you cow!’
The stewardess, flustered, brings back a coke for the parrot but forgets the coffee. When this omission is pointed out to her, the parrot drains its glass and bawls ‘And get me another coke dogface!’
Quite upset, the girl comes back, shaking, with another coke but still no coffee.
Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot’s approach. ‘I’ve asked you twice for a coffee! Go and get it now you old goat!’
The next moment both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards.
Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says, ‘For someone who can’t fly, you’ve got some guts!’