Billy-Bob and Bubba were sitting in back of their trailers shooting the breeze.
Billy-Bob asked Bubba, “If I snuck ovah to yore house while you wuz out fishin an’ slept with your wife, an’ she got pregnant, would dat make us kin?”
Bubba scratched his head for a bit then said, “I don’t think so…. but it sho would make us even.”
“The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can’t ignore it, top it; if you can’t top it, laugh at it; if you can’t laugh at it, it’s probably deserved.”
A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack! “Help me dear,” she groans to her husband.
The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter, and lines up his putt.
His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him. “I’m dying over here and you’re putting?”
“Don’t worry dear,” says the husband calmly, “they found a doctor on the second hole and he’s coming to help you.”
“Well, how long will it take for him to get here,” she asks feebly?
“No time at all,” says her husband. “Everybody’s already agreed to let him play through.”