I was on vacation in Florida on Christmas vacation. I was walking down the beach and I see one of my colleagues approaching me. He is a psychologist. “You had breakfast yet,” I ask?
“No.”
“Let’s find a place.”
“Good,” he says. “My car is right over there.”
I get in his car, a brand-new Lincoln, and right away I notice that it’s a stick-shift.
I say, “You bought a new Lincoln with a stick shift? I didn’t know that they made a Lincoln like that.”
“They don’t,” he says. “I ordered it special.”
“I’ll bet that cost a fortune,” I reply.
“Oh, ya. You got that right.”
“Why would you buy a new Lincoln with a stick shift,” I ask?
He says, “My wife can’t drive a stick.”
A blonde was trying to sell her old car but was having a lot of problems because the car had 250,000 miles on it. One day she told her problem to a brunette that she worked with. The brunette told her: “There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it’s not legal.”
“That doesn’t matter,” replied the blonde, “if I only can sell the car.”
“Okay,” said the brunette. “Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore.” The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde: “Did you sell your car?”
“No,” replied the blonde, “why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it.”
The Baltimore Police Department was somewhat taken back by a recent incident. Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a patrol car nearby was the first on the scene.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, clapped a hand to her head and moaned, “I come home from work to find all my possessions stolen, I call the police for help and what do they do? They send a BLIND policeman.”