“Our wall clock almost killed my mother today!” a wife complains. “It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch.”
The husband mumbles, “Damn clock always was slow.”
A furniture salesman decided that he wanted to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris, France to see what he could find. After arriving in Paris (this being his first trip ever to the French capital), he met with some manufacturers and finally selected a line that he thought would sell well back home in the States.
To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine. As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the one other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.
Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the chair. He invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language so, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her.
After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.
Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed. To this day, he has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business.
A brunette was driving home after a game when she got caught in a really bad hailstorm. The next day, she noticed her car was covered in dents, so she decided to take it to a repair shop.
When the shop owner saw that she was a brunette, he thought it would be funny to play a little prank. He told her to go home and blow into the tailpipe really hard, and that would make all the dents pop out.
Excited to try it, the brunette went home, got down on her hands and knees, and started blowing into the tailpipe. After a few minutes, nothing happened. She took a deep breath and blew even harder, but still no luck.
Just then, her roommate, who was also a brunette, walked in and asked, “What on earth are you doing?”
The first brunette explained the repairman’s instructions.
The roommate shook her head and said, “Seriously? You need to roll up the windows first!”