Ken was fifty, and his wife Liz was forty-eight. They had a very old car. “I’m going to sell this car,” Ken said to Liz last month, but nobody wanted to buy it because it was old and did not run well.
Last Friday, Ken said to Liz, “I’ve got some work in Boxbury. Come with me and do your shopping there.” Liz was very happy, because her husband very seldom took her out, and she usually shopped in their small village.
Ken drove their old car to the River Dee. There was a ferry there, and cars and trucks crossed on it to the other side. It was the shortest way to Boxbury. The ferryman came to Ken and said, “A pound for the car and twenty-five pence for the passenger.”
Ken answered, “Take the car for a pound, but I’m not going to sell my wife for less than fifty pence.”
A Cork radio station was running a competition – words that weren’t in the dictionary yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali.
DJ: “96FM here, what’s your name?”
Caller: “Hi, me name’s Dave.”
DJ: “Dave, what’s your word?”
Caller: “Goan… spelt G-O-A-N, pronounced ‘go-an’.”
DJ: ” ‘Goan’ is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?”
Caller: “Goan f**k yourself!”
The DJ cut the caller short and took other calls, all unsuccessful until:
DJ: “96FM, what’s your name?”
Caller: “Hi, me name’s Jeff.”
DJ: “Jeff, what’s your word?”
Caller: “Smee… spelt S-M-E-E, pronounced ‘smee’.”
DJ: ” ‘Smee’ is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?”
Caller: “Smee again! Goan f**k yourself!”
Just been to the gym at work because they’ve got a new machine in. Only used it for half an hour as I started to feel sick. It’s great, though. It does everything – KitKats, Mars bars, Snickers, Crisps, the lot.
We have got to stop saying “How stupid can you be?” Too many people are seeing it as a challenge.