A beautiful young woman is getting dressed for work one morning in her high-rise apartment building. She glances out her fiftieth-story bedroom window and sees a window washer outside. Thinking she will rattle him, she slowly takes off her dress.
The window washer just goes about the business of cleaning the windows. Next, she removes her slip in a very provocative manner. Still, the man just keeps working away. Taking her striptease to the full extent, she takes off her bra and panties and begins parading around her room. The window washer still takes no notice of her.
Finally, the woman walks over to the window and just stands there, totally naked, staring at the man outside her window. At last the window washer puts down his pail and says, “What’s the matter, lady, haven’t you ever seen a window washer before?”
Timmy is in second grade studying subtraction when the teacher asks, “Timmy, if I have 5 cats and give you 2, how many cats do you have?”
Timmy, “3.”
Teacher, “No Timmy, if I have 5 cats and give you 2, I still have 3 left. 5 minus 3 is 2. What if I have 5 cats and give you 3, how many cats do you have?”
Timmy, “4.”
Teacher, “No Timmy, that’s not right. What if I have 5 cats and give you 5 cats, how many cats do you have?”
Timmy, “6.”
Teacher, “That’s not correct. I only gave you 5 cats.”
Timmy, “Yes it is, I already have a damn cat.”
Pat (80) and Mick (87,) were sitting on a park bench. Mick the 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn’t even short of breath. His 80-year-old friend Pat was amazed at Mick’s stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
Mick the 87-year-old said, “Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you’ll have great stamina with the ladies.”
So, on the way home Pat stopped at the bakery. As he was looking around, the saleslady asked if he needed any help. Pat said, “Do you have any rye bread?”
She said, “Yes, there’s a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?”
He said, “I want five loaves.”
She said, “My goodness, five loaves! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it’ll be hard.”
“I can’t believe everybody knows about this but me!!