Short and sweet this morning – we’re off on Tuesday morning for our excursion to SE Asia and there are still seventy-four thousand things to do before then! Just to maintain some semblance of order, however, you will be delighted to know that the weather has continued to be mainly dull and damp although Friday, I have to admit, was a pretty decent day with this occasional strange orange glow as the sun peeked through the cloud cover.
Continue reading “16 February 2025”Author: Greg
16 February 2025 – Amusements
Ken was fifty, and his wife Liz was forty-eight. They had a very old car. “I’m going to sell this car,” Ken said to Liz last month, but nobody wanted to buy it because it was old and did not run well.
Last Friday, Ken said to Liz, “I’ve got some work in Boxbury. Come with me and do your shopping there.” Liz was very happy, because her husband very seldom took her out, and she usually shopped in their small village.
Ken drove their old car to the River Dee. There was a ferry there, and cars and trucks crossed on it to the other side. It was the shortest way to Boxbury. The ferryman came to Ken and said, “A pound for the car and twenty-five pence for the passenger.”
Ken answered, “Take the car for a pound, but I’m not going to sell my wife for less than fifty pence.”
Continue reading “16 February 2025 – Amusements”9 February 2025
We’ve had decentish weather this week – a cold snap at the end of the week but nice and sunny (when it’s sunny) and overcast, wet and grey when it’s not.
Continue reading “9 February 2025”9 February 2025 – Amusements
Pretty sure we’ve had this before:
A drunk man sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick. He smelled awful, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.
He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes, the man turned to the priest and asked, “Say, Father, what causes arthritis?”
The priest replied, “My Son, it’s caused by loose living; being with cheap, wicked women; too much alcohol; contempt for your fellow man; sleeping around with prostitutes; and lack of bathing.”
The drunk muttered in response, “Well, I’ll be darned,” then returned to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. “I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?”
The drunk answered, “Oh, I don’t have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.”
Continue reading “9 February 2025 – Amusements”2 February 2025
Great weather. One day this week. One bright, sunny, cloudless day. Before and after, it’s been dull, damp, dreary, drizzle and muddy! Still, it’s been a half-decent week – we’ve had a couple of visitations from good friends and we hosted a splendid Not a Pub Night with a bunch of our lovely neighbours.
Continue reading “2 February 2025”2 February 2025 – Amusements
A young man was visiting his brother and sister-in-law for Christmas dinner. As he arrived at their house he found his young nephew, Mikey, helping them bake some cupcakes. After they were done, his sister-in-law allowed Mikey to put the icing on. When the boy had finished, he brought them to the table.
“The cupcakes look delicious, Mike.” his uncle said. He took a bite and said, “Mikey these are so good.” As he finished the cupcake and took another, he again complimented his little nephew. “The cupcakes look beautiful, Mikey,” his uncle said. “How did you get the icing so neat?”
His nephew replied, “It was easy. I just licked them.”
The uncle turned pale. He pointed to the plate of cupcakes. “You licked all of these?”
Mikey replied, “Well no. After a while my tongue got tired, so I got the dog to help.”
Continue reading “2 February 2025 – Amusements”26 January 2024
It’s been a pretty decent week, all things considered. The weather has been the usual disappointing mixture of wet and muddy, made considerably more exciting by the arrival on Friday of Storm Éowyn which has been blowing the bejeesus out of the UK and Ireland. But, other than that, we’ve had a couple of outings as well as enjoying the Great Escape by our canine companion.
Continue reading “26 January 2024”26 January 2025 – Amusements
We’ve had these before . . .
A Red Sox fan goes into a Boston pub and spots a guy wearing a New York Yankees cap. “Drinks for everyone here, bartender!” shouts the Red Sox fan, “Except for Mr. Yankee.”
The Yankee fan smiles and says, “Thank you.”
Infuriated, the Red Sox fan orders another round of drinks for everyone except Mr. Yankee. This goes on for a while until Mr. Red Sox asks the bartender, “What’s the matter with that guy? I’ve ordered rounds of drinks for everyone but him and all he does is thank me. Is he nuts?”
“No, he’s not nuts,” says the bartender, “He owns the place.”
Continue reading “26 January 2025 – Amusements”19 January 2025
Good morning to you all on another cold but otherwise OK sort of day. It’s dry, at least, which is always a bonus. Still, Miss Daisy returns from her morning and afternoon walks covered in mud requiring a ten-minute shower and hose off. I suspect she is very grateful that we installed that outside mixer tap for her so that her showers are at least lukewarm.
Continue reading “19 January 2025”19 January 2025 – Amusements
A man wrote a letter to the IRS: “I have been unable to sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I understated my taxable income and have enclosed a check for $200.00. If I still can’t sleep, I will send the rest.”
Continue reading “19 January 2025 – Amusements”