26 June 2022 – Amusements

One day, an employee received an unusually large pay check. She decided not to say anything about it.

The following week, her check was short the overpayment she received the previous week. So, she confronted her boss about it.

“How come,” her boss inquired, “you didn’t say anything when you were overpaid?”

Unperturbed, the employee replied, “Well, I can overlook one mistake – but two in a row is getting unacceptable!”

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19 June 2022

And there we are – back again before you’d even noticed we’d been away. It’s been a great week. We had the first proper outing in the campervan and I’m pleased to say that both the dog and the two elderly campers survived the experience. It also gave us a chance to visit a dear old friend (i.e., she’s been a friend of ours for a very long time and she’s older than we are so she must be old!). Splendid.

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19 June 2022 – Amusements

At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.

Later that day his mother noticed him lying down, curled up on the floor as though he were ill. She said, “Johnny what is the matter?” Little Johnny responded, “I have a pain in my side. I think I’m gonna have a wife!”

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12 June 2022 – Amusements

A baby turtle was standing at the bottom of a large tree and with a deep sigh, started to climb.

About an hour later, he reached a very high branch and walked along to the end. He turned and spread all four flippers and launched himself off the branch. On landing at the bottom in a pile of soft, dead leaves, he shook himself off, walked back to the bottom of the tree and with a sigh started to climb.

About an hour later, he again reached the very high branch, walked along, turned, spread his flippers and flung himself off the branch.

Again, he landed on the bottom, shook himself off, went to the bottom of the tree, sighed and started climbing.

Watching these proceedings from the end of the branch were two little birds. Mommy bird turned to Daddy bird and said, “Don’t you think it’s time we told him he was adopted?”

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5 June 2022 – Amusements

Arriving at his residence the professor told his housekeeper, “Sarah, I’ve invited three of my students to dinner tonight at 6:30, but I think I’ll give them a half-hour’s grace.”

“Professor, I’m as religious as the next person.” Sarah said shaking her head, “But even I think you’re over-doing it.”

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29 May 2022 – Amusements

A dottering, old professor of logic asked his College class a question.

“If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York and Chicago is 1000 miles from Philadelphia and Los Angeles is 2000 miles from Chicago, and the Moon is 239,000 miles from Earth, how old am I?”

A student in the back of the class raised his hand and when called upon said, “Professor, you’re 70.”

The old professor said, “You’re absolutely correct, but tell me, how did you arrive at the answer so quickly?”

The student said, “It’s easy, I have a brother who’s 35, and he’s only half nuts.”

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