Author: Greg

20 April 2025 – Amusements

A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall: $500 if we fail to fill your order! When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant ears on rye. She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen.

The restaurant owner comes storming out of the kitchen. He runs up to the customer’s table, slaps five $100 bills down on it and says, “You got me this time buddy, but I want you to know that’s the first time in ten years we’ve been out of rye bread!”

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13 April 2025 – Amusements

We’ve had this before but it never gets old because it is so accurate!

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted,” Excuse me, can you help? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The woman below replied, “You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.”

“You must be an engineer,” said the balloonist.

“I am,” replied the woman. “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of you, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help so far.”

The woman below responded, “You must be in management.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?”

“Well,” said the woman, “you don’t know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault!”

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6 April 2025 – Amusements

A young bride-to-be went to see her local priest to check on the preparations for her wedding.

“How can I help?” he asked.

“Well, Father”, she began, “it’s to do with my wedding dress. I was wondering what colour it should be.”

“The answer to that depends on your virtues, my dear”, replied the priest.

“What do you mean?” the innocent girl asked.

“It’s simple,” said the priest. “If you are pure and have not sinned, then you wear white.”

“And if…?” asked the girl.

“Otherwise, you wear blue,” explained the priest.

“Oh, I see. Thank you very much.” she said, and turned to go.

“Wait a moment.”, said the priest. “What color will you be wearing?”

“White!” said the girl.

“Oh good,” smiled the priest.

“…with hundreds of little blue polka dots.

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30 March 2025

At Adam’s suggestion, we travelled by taxi from Bangkok to Siem Reap, a six-and-a-half-hour journey through gorgeous countryside. One can fly, of course, but when one considers getting to the airport early, going through security, going through customs and immigration at the other end, there’s probably not a lot in it. Certainly, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to visit one of the finest examples of a Lav with a View.

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