29 November 2020 – Amusements

This from a friend . . .

A British national daily newspaper is asking readers: “What does it mean to be British?”

Some of the resulting emails were hilarious but how about this one?

“Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. He buys a holiday home in Spain, goes skiing in France, fancies Swedish birds, and has a Romanian au-pair. And the most British characteristic of all? Suspicion of anything foreign.”

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22 November 2020

Week Two (or is it Three? Doesn’t time fly when you are enjoying yourself) of Lockdown II completed successfully. We’re still on speaking terms with one another (just about) and have spent much of this week together engaged in an outdoor project which, as I said last time, we should have completed during the summer when the weather was perfect for completing outdoor projects! Hey ho. As it is, it was cloudy, windy, cool and occasionally wet during our exertions but we’re making progress. We’ll have photos and a full explanation when the project is complete. At this rate that’s likely to be about June 2022.

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22 November 2020 – Amusements

Out in space two alien forms are speaking with each other.

The first spaceman says, “The dominant life forms on the earth planet have developed satellite-based weapons.”

The second alien, who looks exactly like the first, asks, “Are they an emerging intelligence?”

The first spaceman says, “I don’t think so. They have them aimed at themselves.”

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15 November 2020 – Amusements

A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, come in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move.

“No thank you.” she said politely. “This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I’m keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love.”

“That must be rather difficult.” the man replied.

“Oh, I don’t mind too much.” she said. “But, it has my husband pretty upset.”

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8 November 2020 – Amusements

I was walking past an alley last night, when I heard, “Help! Help!” coming from behind a dumpster. Two thugs were trying to steal an old lady’s handbag, but she was putting up a heck of a fight and wouldn’t let go.

I wondered if I should get involved, or keep walking and pretend I didn’t see anything.

I finally decided that I should help.

She was one tough old lady, but the three of us finally got that handbag.

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1 November 2020 – Amusements

I was reading an article last night about fathers and daughters and memories came flooding back of the time I took my daughter out for her first pint.

Off we went to our local pub which is only two blocks from the house. I got her a Fosters. She didn’t like it…so I had it.

Then I got her a Carling Black Label, she didn’t like it… so I had it.

It was the same with the 1664 Lager and Premium Dry Cider. By the time we got down to the Scotch I could hardly push the stroller back home.

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