It’s been a miserable, miserable week. Storm Dennis has left areas north of us under water and it has done little this week apart from rain, rain, and rain accompanied by gale force winds and then a bit more rain. Even around here, where we haven’t had any actual flooding, the ground is completely saturated and the rivers are certainly at their peak.
An elderly couple came back from a wedding one afternoon and were in a pretty romantic mood. While sitting on their loveseat, the elderly woman looked at her companion and said, “I remember when you used to kiss me every chance you had.”
The old man feeling a bit obliged leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek.
Then she said, “I also remember when you used to hold my hand at every opportunity.”
The old man again feeling obligated reached over and gently placed his arm around her shoulders.
The elderly woman then stated,” I also remember when you used to nibble on my neck and send chills down my spine.”
This time the old man started to get up off the couch. As he began to walk out of the living room his wife asked, “Was it something I said? Where are you going?”
The old man looked at her and replied, “I’m going to the bathroom to get my teeth!” Continue reading
We’ve had a very busy week with lots going on. On Sunday our dear friends and former neighbours in Byfield, Pete and Sally, came for lunch along with Adam and Ava. Penny made one of her famous fish pies and it was great to catch up. Continue reading
A young man who had recently moved out on his own called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?
His mother said, “Why don’t you send her a nice note and invite her to your apartment for a home-cooked meal?”
He thought this was a great strategy, and arranged a date for a week later. His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone.
“The evening was a disaster,” he moaned.
“Why, didn’t she come over?” asked his mother.
“Oh, she came over, but she refused to cook.” Continue reading
Happy Anniversary! Yes, tomorrow will be the first anniversary of the start of our kitchen extension/renovations. The job that they cheerily said at the outset would take “three to four months.” Having not seen anyone since before Christmas this week we’ve been blessed with the company of Dave the carpenter who’s been ticking off, one by one, the extensive list of tasks which remain to be completed. (BTW, Dave is a very decent and efficient carpenter unlike the very, very, very patient carpenter we were stuck with for the last couple of months). Only another three to four months, I should think! Continue reading
The homework assignment for my Spanish class was to write a paragraph. When I returned their papers, I asked one student if he had used Google Translate or any other online translator to write his paper.
He categorically denied doing so.
That led to my next question, “Then why is this paper in French?” Continue reading
Happy Groundhog Day!
At last! We have been well and truly Brexited – rather like being filleted, I suspect. Alive. With a dull knife. And no anaesthetic, awake and conscious through the whole exercise while our vitals are ripped out and we are rent asunder. It will be interesting to see how long it is before it all goes tits up and whether the gullible naïve racists who voted to leave realise that they too are being f**ked with all the rest of us. Ironically, those areas which voted most vigorously to leave are exactly the areas which are going to be hardest hit. Continue reading
They say there’s more chance of dying on the way to place the lottery than actually winning. That’s why I always send my wife.
Win-Win. Continue reading
Another great week – our first “proper” evening’s entertainment with “real” guests in the new kitchen, a new approach to our “award-winning” sourdough, a trip up to London for an exhibition followed by a minor mishap and some remarkable customer service from an online supplier. Continue reading
After a long day of shopping, my daughter and I stopped at a grocery store. I ran in to pick up a few things, leaving her in the car. As I approached the checkout I was surprised to see my daughter there waiting for me.
“Honey,” I said, “what are you doing in here? I left the motor running.”
“It’s all right, Mom,” she replied reassuringly. “I locked the doors.” Continue reading