The Moreton Pinkney Picayune

Greg's Occasional News & Views

9 July 2017

It’s been another very pleasant week indeed, depending on one’s perspective to some extent, I suppose. We’ve had fine weather – largely sunny and warm, but we’ve not had the rain which was predicted for Thursday and Penelope’s garden is feeling mighty parched. We can still water it ourselves until the authorities introduce the first hosepipe ban of the season but a thunderous outburst would be most welcome. Continue reading

9 July 2017 – Amusements

The person sitting next to me on a flight was a woman. Ever the charmer, I used one of my pick-up lines on her.

I asked, “Does the airline charge you extra for sitting next to good-looking men?”

“Yes,” she replied, “but I wasn’t willing to pay.” Continue reading

2 July 2107

Not really but the contrast between last week’s sweltering temperatures and this week’s more modest offerings is striking. Wednesday last week was the hottest day of the “heatwave” and on Thursday the temperature was about 10o cooler, much more in keeping with normal June temperatures. That’s continued through much of this week except that it has continued to cool down so that on Thursday of this week it was a good 15o lower than it had been – sweaters and jackets once again the order of the day! Continue reading

2 July 2017 – Amusements

I think we’ve had this before?

My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market. I went and looked around and couldn’t find any.

So I grabbed a harassed and tired looking employee and said, “These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?”

The produce guy looked at me and said, “No, sir, you’ll have to do that yourself.” Continue reading

18 June 2017

What a pleasant few days – moderately warm and moderately sunny some of the time. The weekend, though, has been stunning!

Now that’s the kind of weather we could come to love and appreciate! Continue reading

18 June 2017 – Amusements

This from my friend Julie:

People often complain about the police, but you rarely hear about the positive things they do, such as this incident involving a biker and a frozen carburetor.

Last January on a bitterly cold winter’s day, a North Dakota State Trooper on patrol came upon a motorcyclist who was stalled by the roadside.

The biker was swathed in heavy protective clothing and wearing a full-face helmet to protect the face from the cold weather.

“What’s the matter?” asked the Trooper

“Carburetor’s frozen,” was the muffled, terse reply.

“Pee on it. That’ll thaw it out.”

“I can’t,” mumbled the biker.

“OK, watch me closely and I’ll show you.” The Trooper unzipped and promptly warmed the carburetor as promised.

Moments later the bike started and the rider drove off, waving.

A few days later, the local State Troopers office received a note of thanks from the father of the motorcyclist. It began: “On behalf of my daughter Jill…” Continue reading

11 June 2017

Well, we didn’t see that coming, did we?

I am sure you have all followed the UK election results as closely as we have and, undoubtedly, were as delighted as we were that Mrs May’s decision to hold an early election (in spite of having said she would not do so on half a dozen occasions previously) backfired spectacularly. At the time she called the election the Conservatives had something approaching a 20 point lead in the polls; the result was a Conservative loss of thirteen seats and the evaporation of their overall Commons majority. Splendid.

Continue reading

11 June 2017 – Amusements

Manning the computer help desk for the local school district was my first job. And though I was just an intern, I took the job very seriously. But not every caller took me seriously.

“Can I talk to a real person?” a caller asked.

“I am real,” I said.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” the caller said. “That was rude of me. What I meant to say was, could I talk to someone who actually knows something?” Continue reading

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