The Moreton Pinkney Picayune

Greg's Occasional News & Views

9 June 2019

Welcome back after a couple of outstanding days in St Ives, Cornwall. We absorbed lots of culture, enjoyed some magnificent sights, walked a bit and ate a lot – what more could anyone want from a short holiday break? Continue reading

9 June 2019 – Amusements

Tommy had reached school age. His mother managed with a blast of propaganda to make him enthusiastic about the idea.

She bought him lots of new clothes, told him of the new friends he’d meet, and so on.

When the first day came, Tommy eagerly went off and came back home with a lot of glowing reports about school.

The next morning when his mother woke him up, he asked, “What for?” She told him it was time to get ready for school.

“What?” he asked. “Again?” Continue reading

2 June 2019

It’s been another busy, busy week. What are the chances of that? We’ve provided some guest accommodation for an old college friend of Penelope’s, we celebrated not one, not two but three birthdays – all on the same day! Great progress has been made on the garden and the building and all this when the weather has been mixed. My goodness, what could we achieve with an uninterrupted spell of good weather? Continue reading

2 June 2019 – Amusements

There exists a widespread myth that humans should learn about sex from their parents. My relationship with my father nearly ended when he tried to teach me how to drive. I can’t imagine our relationship having survived his instructing me how to have sex. Continue reading

26 May 2019

What a glorious week – lovely sunshine and blue skies for much of the time. Much progress has been made in the garden and on the building site. We also had a splendid day out with friends on Sunday and voted in the European elections which we never thought would take place! By the time you read this Mrs May could be gone as the country slides further and further into the abyss. Hey ho, what are you going to do? Continue reading

26 May 2019 – Amusements

I was in a pub last Saturday night, and after drinking a few I noticed two very robust-looking women at the bar. They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, “Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?”

One of them snapped back, saying, “It’s Wales, you idiot!”

I immediately apologised. “I’m sorry,” I said, “are you two whales from Ireland?” Continue reading

19 May 2019

We had some glorious weather early this week – just what Spring in England should be all about. Warm(ish), sunny with bright blue skies and a slight breeze. Very pleasant. It returned to form toward the end of the week with cooler temperatures, more breeze and even the occasional spot of rain. Hey, ho – I guess we’ll call it a draw. Continue reading

19 May 2019 – Amusements

Little Johnny’s father asked him what he wanted for his birthday. “A baby brother,” he said. Later that year, his mother came home from the hospital with a baby boy.

Little Johnny was delighted. “And what would you like this year for your birthday?” his father asked.

He said, “If it isn’t too uncomfortable for mommy, I’d like a pony.” Continue reading

12 May 2019

Now that our visitors have safely returned home it’s “back to normal” around here, whatever “normal” is. I suppose normal could be the crappy weather we’ve had for most of the week – it has been chucking it down and the temperatures have certainly been on the chilly side of things. So intense and continuous that the builders didn’t even bother to turn up two days this week – too wet for brick laying (and Monday was a bank holiday for May Day so that doesn’t even count). Here’s hoping that things take a turn for the better. Continue reading

12 May 2019 – Amusements

“Jim, why don’t you play golf with Steve anymore?” asked a friend.

“Would you play golf with a guy who moved the ball with his foot when you weren’t watching?” Jim asked.

“Well, no, I suppose not,” admitted the friend.

“Neither will Steve,” replied Jim. Continue reading

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