Another good week! After a bit of rain on Sunday it’s back to “normal” – hot, hot temperatures with a bucket-load of humidity thrown in just for fun. The lawns and garden enjoyed the sip of water but there really wasn’t enough in our neighbourhood. Some areas got a deluge while we had just a short, gentle drizzle. Continue reading
One night, a lady stumbled into the police station with a black eye. She claimed she heard a noise in her backyard and went to investigate. The next thing she knew she was hit in the eye and knocked out cold.
An officer was sent to her house to investigate and he returned 1-1/2 hours later with a black eye.
“Did you get hit by the same person?” his captain asked.
“No,” he replied. “I stepped on the same rake.” Continue reading
Whew! What a scorcher! It’s been a hot, hot, hot week. Thursday the temperature reached the lofty heights of 35o Celsius (95o Fahrenheit) at Heathrow, the hottest day of the year so far. Friday was supposed to be even hotter but Friday was also supposed to be the day when the heavens burst and flung buckets of water down upon us. We did, once again, have a spot of rain this week. Actually, I think it was three spots of rain – it drizzled for about ten minutes on Thursday evening just as we were going to bed.
I have changed my system for labelling homemade freezer meals. I used to carefully note in large clear letters, “Meatloaf” or “Pot Roast” or “Steak and Vegetables or “Chicken and Dumplings” or “Beef Pot Pie.”
However, I used to get frustrated when I asked my husband what he wanted for dinner because he never asked for any of those things. So, I decided to stock the freezer with what he really likes.
If you look in my freezer now you’ll see a whole new set of labels. You’ll find dinners with neat little tags that say: “Whatever,” “Anything,” “I Don’t Know,” “I Don’t Care,” “Something Good,” or “Food.” My level of frustration is now reduced because no matter what my husband replies when I ask him what he wants for dinner, I know that it is there waiting. Continue reading
Another lovely week – this is getting ridiculous. No rain in our neighbourhood for at least seven weeks now. The Upper Green might more accurately be referred to as the Upper Savannah with dead brown grass and dust. The weather folks are saying some parts of the country may get some torrential downpours in the next few days – it never rains, but it pours! Bring it on, please. Continue reading
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop pretty high, the zoo officials put up an 8-foot fence. The next morning, however, the kangaroo was out again, idly roaming around the zoo.
The zoo officials raised the height of the fence to ten feet. Again, however, the next morning the kangaroo was again roaming about the zoo. This kept on, night after night, until the fence was 20 feet high.
Finally, the camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, “How high do you think they’ll go?”
The kangaroo replied, “Who knows? Maybe 50 feet. Unless somebody starts locking the gate at night.” Continue reading
What? Another great week? Sunshine and temperatures still in the 80s? Yep. And Adam, Ava and Jessica are here to enjoy it with – what could be better than that? Continue reading
The heart specialist was operating on the patient when he suddenly said, “Don’t worry, Adam. This is a minor operation. Everything will be all right.”
The patient replied, “Thank you Doctor, but my name is Jose.”
The heart specialist said, “I know that. Adam is my name.” Continue reading
Goodness! Another great week. The weather continues to be sensational, hot and sunny with temperatures into the low 30s (i.e., the mid 80s). We’ve not had any rain for about six weeks so, as you might imagine, the garden is desperate for a drink. Thankfully, no hosepipe ban in our neighbourhood yet but the first of the season has been introduced in Northern Ireland. Since we had such a lousy Spring here with lots of rain and low temperatures, the reservoirs are full, so they say. At the same time, since the privatised water companies are estimated to lose up to 30% of their product through leaking pipes it probably won’t be long. After all, it’s much more important to maintain their shareholder’s dividends than to actually fix the infrastructure. Aren’t privatised monopolies a great idea! Continue reading
Doctor Bloomfield, who was known for extraordinary treatment of arthritis, had a waiting room full of people when a little old lady, almost bent over in half, shuffled in slowly, leaning on her cane.
When her turn came, she went into the doctor’s office and, amazingly, emerged within 5 minutes walking completely erect with her head held high.
A woman in the waiting room who had seen all this rushed up to the little old lady and said, “It’s a miracle! You walked in bent in half and now you’re walking erect. What did that doctor do?”
“Gave me a longer cane.” Continue reading