The Moreton Pinkney Picayune

Greg's Occasional News & Views

18 February 2018

It’s your lucky day – very little news this week!

Date Night this week was a lovely dinner out at the Crown Inn at Weston on Thursday evening. One might imagine that I would take my sweetheart out on Wednesday for Valentine’s Day. Wednesday, however, is one of those days when Penelope runs and jumps about for a couple of hours in the evening. So, Thursday it was. Continue reading

18 February 2018 – Amusements

A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband’s two.

Suspecting the worse, she reaches for an extra pillow and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can, letting her anger and frustration out. Once she’s done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.

He says, “Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?” Continue reading

11 February 2018

Another good week. A couple of gloriously glorious bright sunny days, as well as a couple of absolute stinkers but at least, in terms of daylight, we’re on an upward trend. That’s got to be good news, right? Continue reading

11 February 2018 – Amusements

My husband and I took our two-year-old daughter to the home-improvement store.

Madison got tired of walking, so my husband let her ride on his shoulders. As he walked, Madison began pulling his hair. Although he asked her to stop several times, she kept on.

Getting annoyed, he scolded, “Madison! Stop that!”

“But, Daddy,” she replied, “I’m just trying to get my gum back.” Continue reading

4 February 2018

Aren’t Thursdays great? At least they are in this household – it’s one day of the week (of two) when neither Penelope nor I need to get out of bed at an “early” hour. This week we were still lounging in bed when the doorbell rang. “Who the f**k is that at this time of the morning?” I asked before glancing at my watch to see that it was almost 9.30. As it turns out it was a courier delivering a parcel of goodies. Aren’t Thursdays great? Continue reading

4 February 2018 – Amusements

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be yours. If it doesn’t come back, it was never yours to begin with.

But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn’t appear to realise that you had set it free…. you either married it or gave birth to it. Continue reading

28 January 2018

Oh my goodness! What a wild, wackily wonderful week. We had a birthday to celebrate, a neighbour to doggy-sit, a country western concert on our doorstep, a jackdaw to liberate and wonderful, wonderful news of a new arrival. I need to sit down and catch my breath. Continue reading

28 January 2018 – Amusements

Jack had been a compulsive worrier for years, to the point it was ruining his life. He saw a psychologist who recommended a specialist who could help him. His friend, Bob, noticed a dramatic change and asked, “What happened? Nothing seems to worry you anymore.”

“I hired a professional worrier and I haven’t had a worry since,” replied Jack.

“That must be expensive,” Bob replied.

“He charges $5,000 a month,” Jack told him.

“$5,000!!! How in the world can you afford to pay him?” exclaimed Bob.

“I don’t know. That’s his problem.” Continue reading

21 January 2018 – Amusements

While I was dining out with my children, a friend of my neighbour, who recognized us, came over to our table, and we started talking.

He asked where my kids go to school. I told him we home-schooled them.

With a raised eyebrow, he asked if my husband is the sole breadwinner for our family.

I said, “No, I also work… but out of our home.”

Then, noticing our two-month-old son, he mentioned that his daughter had just had a baby, and he wondered what hospital our son was born in.

“He was born at home,” I answered.

The man looked at me and said, “You don’t get out much, do you?” Continue reading

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