The Moreton Pinkney Picayune

Greg's Occasional News & Views

30 April 2017

After the mild, and sometimes warm and occasionally sunny days of the last couple of weeks we’ve gone back to unsatisfactorily chilly temperatures and biting northerly winds these last few days. Penelope even had to cover some of her seedlings with a blanket to keep them warm at night!

Nick, Lucy & Annabelle were over last Saturday following their vacation in the Cape Verde Islands. They looked warm and refreshed and, as we had missed Easter with them, they came over for an Easter Egg Hunt and the season’s opening of the Moreton Pinkney Pizzeria. The weather was kind and we dined alfresco in the evening sun – excellent. And, the pizzas were excellent too! In fact, they were so tasty that Ms Playchute and I enjoyed another round on Sunday evening. Continue reading

30 April 2017 – Amusements

My cooking has always been the target of family jokes. One evening, as I prepared dinner a bit too quickly, the kitchen filled with smoke and the smoke detector went off. Although both of my children had received fire-safety training at school, they did not respond to the alarm.

Annoyed, I stormed through the house in search of them. I found them in the bathroom, washing their hands. Over the loud buzzing of the smoke alarm, I asked them to identify the sound.

“It’s the smoke detector,” they replied in unison.

“Do you know what that sound means?” I demanded.

“Sure,” my oldest replied. “Dinner’s ready.” Continue reading

23 April 2017

We had a note in our letter box the other day. It was signed by one Aubrey Bishop with the enquiry whether our house was formerly known as the Dun Cow Inn. He wrote that his great-grandfather had been publican here in the 1880s. He left his phone number and, a couple of days later Pen rang and confirmed that our house was once, indeed, the Dun Cow Inn. He kindly sent through some stuff – a copy of the relevant page of the 1881 census as well as a couple of photographs.

Continue reading

23 April 2017 – Amusements

Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighbourhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end.

At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter. Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger co-worker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.

As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong.

Gasping for breath, she replied, “When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I’d better run too!” Continue reading

16 April 2017

What a contrast in the weather this week. Last week was warm & clear; this week it is decidedly chilly and mainly overcast. We had the hottest day of the year on Sunday – 23 degrees! That’s 72 degrees in old money. (I have to confess, I did not see 23 anywhere but I am reliably informed by Ms Playchute that that was the temperature on Sunday afternoon). Monday we had a high of 12 (53)! I guess that was Spring and Summer all in the space of a week. Continue reading

16 April 2017 – Amusements

Even though we’ve had this one before, it seems particularly appropriate in these wacky political times in which we find ourselves:

Five surgeons are having drinks together at a surgical convention and making jokes.

The first, a Florida surgeon, says: “I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”

The second, a Michigan surgeon, responds: “Yeah, but you should try electricians. Everything inside of them is color coded.”

The third, a California surgeon, says: “No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside of them is in alphabetical order.”

The fourth, a New York surgeon, chimes in: “You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.”

But the fifth, from Washington D.C. shut them all up when he observed, “You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, no brains, no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable.” Continue reading

9 April 2017

What a great week we’ve had! Not only has the weather been gorgeous – beautiful spring days with warm sunshine, scattered clouds and largely blue skies – but we’ve also had an excuse to undertake a few outings and especially to enjoy the company of some splendid guests. Continue reading

9 April 2017 – Amusements

A local charity had never received a donation from the town’s banker, so the director made a phone call. “Our records show you make $500,000 a year, yet you haven’t given a penny to charity,” the director began. “Wouldn’t you like to help the community?”

The banker replied, “Did your research show that my mother is ill, with extremely expensive medical bills?”

“Um, no,” mumbled the director.

“Or that my brother is unemployed? Or that my sister’s husband left, leaving her broke with four kids?”

“I … I … I had no idea.”

“So,” said the banker, “if I don’t give them any money, why would I give any to you?” Continue reading

2 April 2017

So much to rant about and so little time! It’s finally come to this – we’ve been well and truly, utterly and completely Brexited! Rather like a fish being filleted by a blind, deaf mute with a dull knife – it’s difficult to accurately anticipate the mess that is going to emerge but whatever it is, it will be ugly. Continue reading

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