The Moreton Pinkney Picayune

Greg's Occasional News & Views

14 January 2018

It’s been a relatively quiet week on the home front, as it so often seems to be in the hiatus after the Christmas and New Year festivities. The weather has been largely grey, drizzly and miserable and we’ve had the odd bout of freezing fog which is always fun, especially on the winding country lanes one has to transverse to reach our humble abode. Continue reading

14 January 2018 – Amusements

Sister Grace at the convent opened a letter from home and found a $100 bill from her parents. She smiled at the gesture. As she read the letter by the window, she noticed a shabbily-dressed stranger leaning against the lamp post below.

Quickly, she wrote, “Don’t despair. Sister Grace” on a piece of paper, wrapped the $100 bill in it, and tossed it out the window. The stranger picked it up and read the note. He tipped his hat to Sister Grace and hurried away.

The next day, Sister Grace was told that a man was asking to see her. She went down and found the stranger waiting. Without a word, he handed her a huge wad of $100 bills.

“What’s this?” she asked.

“That’s your $8,000, sister,” he replied. “‘Don’t Despair’ paid 80-to-1.” Continue reading

7 January 2018

And a happy New Year to you all. We welcomed the New Year in the manner in which we generally seem to nowadays – fast asleep and snoring (not too loudly, I hope). Well, as I always say, it’s New Year somewhere!

We’ve not done too much this week apart from run a few errands but my goodness, it still feels very busy! Continue reading

7 January 2018 – Amusements

Now that they are retired, my mother and father are discussing all aspects of their future. “What will you do if I die before you do?” Dad asked Mom.

After some thought, she said that she’d probably look for a house-sharing situation with three other single or widowed women who might be a little younger than herself, since she is so active for her age.

Then Mom asked Dad, “What will you do if I die first?”

He replied, “Probably the same thing.” Continue reading

31 December 2017

Hope you all had a splendid Christmas with family, friends and copious quantities of food. We did! As I wrote last time, the run-up to Christmas itself was occupied extremely pleasantly with a birthday outing to Carluccio’s in Stratford and the Imperium double bill. Excellent!

Christmas itself we spent on our own which was no bad thing. Penelope had recently contracted the Winter Lurgy which was doing the rounds and very kindly passed it on to me – coughs, sneezes, runny noses, sore throats and a general feeling of un-wellness pervaded our household on Christmas Day so it’s a good job we weren’t required to be polite or sociable. Continue reading

31 December 2017 – Amusements

Today marks the 35th anniversary of the death of Sir Douglas Bader and I couldn’t let it pass without this story about the Royal Air Force hero. He was giving a talk at an upmarket girl’s school about his time as a pilot in the Second World War. “So there were two of the f***ers behind me, three f***ers to my right, and another f***er on the left,” he told the audience.

The headmistress went pale and interjected: “Ladies, the Fokker was a German aircraft.”

Sir Douglas replied, “That is true, madam, but these f***ers were Messerschmitts. Continue reading

24 December 2017 – Amusements

Every December it was the same excruciating tradition. Our family would get up at the crack of dawn, go to a Christmas tree farm and tromp across acres of snow in search of the perfect tree. Hours later our feet would be freezing, but Mom would press on, convinced the tree of her dreams was “just up ahead.”

One year I snapped. “Mom, face it. The perfect tree doesn’t exist. It’s like looking for a man. Just be satisfied if you can find one that isn’t dead, doesn’t have too many bald spots and is straight.” Continue reading

17 December 2017

What a wacky week! We woke on Sunday to 6” of beautiful pristine snow which had been delivered overnight for our pleasure. And, while I have to admit that it did look gorgeous, it was somewhat inconvenient as we had been due to take Annabelle to the theatre in Northampton to see a new version of the Jungle Book. The main roads were passable with care but the side roads were a bit tricky and Nick had to bring her over to ours so that we could set off for Northampton. Continue reading

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