The Moreton Pinkney Picayune

Greg's Occasional News & Views

29 July 2018

Whew! What a scorcher! It’s been a hot, hot, hot week. Thursday the temperature reached the lofty heights of 35o Celsius (95o Fahrenheit) at Heathrow, the hottest day of the year so far. Friday was supposed to be even hotter but Friday was also supposed to be the day when the heavens burst and flung buckets of water down upon us. We did, once again, have a spot of rain this week. Actually, I think it was three spots of rain – it drizzled for about ten minutes on Thursday evening just as we were going to bed.

Continue reading

29 July 2018 – Amusements

I have changed my system for labelling homemade freezer meals. I used to carefully note in large clear letters, “Meatloaf” or “Pot Roast” or “Steak and Vegetables or “Chicken and Dumplings” or “Beef Pot Pie.”

However, I used to get frustrated when I asked my husband what he wanted for dinner because he never asked for any of those things. So, I decided to stock the freezer with what he really likes.

If you look in my freezer now you’ll see a whole new set of labels. You’ll find dinners with neat little tags that say: “Whatever,” “Anything,” “I Don’t Know,” “I Don’t Care,” “Something Good,” or “Food.” My level of frustration is now reduced because no matter what my husband replies when I ask him what he wants for dinner, I know that it is there waiting. Continue reading

22 July 2018

Another lovely week – this is getting ridiculous. No rain in our neighbourhood for at least seven weeks now. The Upper Green might more accurately be referred to as the Upper Savannah with dead brown grass and dust. The weather folks are saying some parts of the country may get some torrential downpours in the next few days – it never rains, but it pours! Bring it on, please. Continue reading

22 July 2018 – Amusements

A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop pretty high, the zoo officials put up an 8-foot fence. The next morning, however, the kangaroo was out again, idly roaming around the zoo.

The zoo officials raised the height of the fence to ten feet. Again, however, the next morning the kangaroo was again roaming about the zoo. This kept on, night after night, until the fence was 20 feet high.

Finally, the camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, “How high do you think they’ll go?”

The kangaroo replied, “Who knows? Maybe 50 feet. Unless somebody starts locking the gate at night.” Continue reading

15 July 2018 – Amusements

The heart specialist was operating on the patient when he suddenly said, “Don’t worry, Adam. This is a minor operation. Everything will be all right.”

The patient replied, “Thank you Doctor, but my name is Jose.”

The heart specialist said, “I know that. Adam is my name.” Continue reading

8 July 2018

Goodness! Another great week. The weather continues to be sensational, hot and sunny with temperatures into the low 30s (i.e., the mid 80s). We’ve not had any rain for about six weeks so, as you might imagine, the garden is desperate for a drink. Thankfully, no hosepipe ban in our neighbourhood yet but the first of the season has been introduced in Northern Ireland. Since we had such a lousy Spring here with lots of rain and low temperatures, the reservoirs are full, so they say. At the same time, since the privatised water companies are estimated to lose up to 30% of their product through leaking pipes it probably won’t be long. After all, it’s much more important to maintain their shareholder’s dividends than to actually fix the infrastructure. Aren’t privatised monopolies a great idea! Continue reading

8 July 2018 – Amusements

Doctor Bloomfield, who was known for extraordinary treatment of arthritis, had a waiting room full of people when a little old lady, almost bent over in half, shuffled in slowly, leaning on her cane. 

When her turn came, she went into the doctor’s office and, amazingly, emerged within 5 minutes walking completely erect with her head held high.

A woman in the waiting room who had seen all this rushed up to the little old lady and said, “It’s a miracle! You walked in bent in half and now you’re walking erect. What did that doctor do?”

“Gave me a longer cane.” Continue reading

1 July 2018

Wow! What another great week just whizzed by. We’ve had great weather, went up to town again (twice), enjoyed a primary school sports day under a blazingly hot bright blue sky and tromped up and down Edgehill with Penelope’s walking group. What’s not to like? Continue reading

1 July 2018 – Amusements

As the bus pulled away, a woman realised she had left her purse under the seat. Later she called the company and was relieved to find out the driver had found it. When she went to pick it up, several off-duty bus drivers greeted her.

One of the men handed over her handbag and a box. “We’re required to inventory found wallets and purses,” he explained. “I think you’ll find everything here.

As she started to put her belongings back into the purse, the man continued, “I hope you don’t mind if we watch. Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse… and we’d like to see just HOW you do it.” Continue reading

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