This from our friend Erik.
There was a discussion on the Today programme about the rising price of admission to Premier League football matches.
An older chap being interviewed said he could recall many years ago arriving at the turnstiles (it was probably West Ham United) and being told:
“That will be ten quid, mate.”
“What?!” the old chap exclaimed. “I could get a woman for that!”
The guy on the turnstile retorted, “Sure, but not for 45 minutes each way with a brass band and a meat pie in the interval, you couldn’t!”
A man was checking his itemised lawyer’s bill. One item read:-
Spotted you across the street. Crossed over to discuss a legal point in your case. When I got there it was not you after all.
20 dollars
The American Government funded a study to determine why the head of a man’s penis is larger than the shaft. After 1 year and $180,000 it was concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.
After the US published the study the French decided to do their own research. After $250,000 and 3 years of research they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.
The Irish, not satisfied with those findings, carried out their own study. After 2 weeks, a cost of about $75.46 and many pints of beer, they concluded that it was to keep the man’s hand from flying off and hitting himself in the forehead.